ANC has Santa in a spot

It has become customary for me to write to Santa at this time of the year. The subject has remained unchanged: an appeal to use his magical powers to rid us of crooked ANC politicians. For some reason he always skirted the request, so we’re still stuck with the bad apples.

However, something happened, shedding light on why his reticence in responding to my pleading. This time round I received a letter from him, before I got my letter off to him.

Just handling the colourful envelope and seeing my name written in old-fashioned copperplate had me jumping up and down like a kid receiving an overflowing Santa stocking.

But had I known what a troubled Santa had to say, I probably would’ve kept the envelope sealed.

“My dear Cliff, I trust you are in fine fettle. But like yours truly, I don’t think you are. How can we be fine with a government which has failed its people – especially the poor ones – and has embarked on a deliberate policy of enriching itself.

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“So, let me give you the reason for my hesitancy in doing what you have requested for the past five years. Hypothetically, let’s say I dump the baddies on some island – or leave them floundering in space until a meteor strikes them – who’ll take up their space?

“Here’s the rub, there’s nobody in the wings capable enough of taking up the cudgels and save the country from becoming another Zim ruins. It would also leave vacancies in a weaker ANC for the RET mob to fill. The opposition? Excuse my cynicism by asking, what opposition?

“So, we’re left with Cyril, and thankfully, a number of good people who have supported him through thick and thin. It’s a question of rather the devil you know… I’m holding out executing your plan until after the 2024 election.

“I’m hoping the ANC gets so hurt from poor voter support (even though still winning overall), that it’s forced to genuinely renew itself. This will assure a peaceful transition from bad to good. I hope you appreciate where I’m coming from. Yours truly, Santa.”

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Had Santa seen Zuma and his mobsters in action at Nasrec, would he have changed his tune? Unless the jail jumper is put away, he’ll continue his idiotic disruptive ways. Replying to Santa won’t be easy.