ANC consistently fails to rise to the occasion

Let’s say the ANC was a product brand like Marmite. How would it rate among households fussy about what they use and eat? If placed on supermarket shelves, what response would it get?

We know what happened in June when, almost overnight, Marmite disappeared off the shelves.

Shoppers looked on with disbelieve at the empty space usually earmarked for the yeasty sandwich spread. Wily merchandisers made sure the signage remained on that spot, subtly keeping the brand alive, with the promise that it would make a comeback.

Evidently the reason for its absence was a worldwide shortage of brewer’s yeast, an ingredient also used in the making of homemade beer. I reckon with coronavirus causing the ban or limiting the sale of liquor, thirsty imbibers were buying up the yeast to make their own brew.

Who would have thought a humble spread could unleash such a massive response from consumers. According to a manager at our favourite supermarket, he had never before faced such an on-going barrage of angry questions and insults about a product.

What makes Marmite so special? I asked around and was surprised at the answers. Consistency. Flavourful. Energising. Lekker with butter and cheese. Makes appetising lunch boxes, etc, etc.

And the ANC? I asked the same manager the question, of course, hypothetically. Perhaps too exhausting for an overwrought retailer? But, hey, his immediate answer bowled me over.

“We are very fussy what we place on our shelves. The product must meet stringent criteria, like it must be proved useful, consist of healthy ingredients and perhaps above all, safe to use. The ANC wouldn’t stand a chance. I personally wouldn’t allow it to darken our door, never mind reach our storeroom.”

Given the party’s track record under the ruinous Jacob Zuma regime, the humble supermarket manager’s analogy is bang on.

The ANC is inconsistent. It’s incompetent. Its “ingredients” (corrupt cadres) make it unappetising, useless.

And the ANC lacks the one ingredient making Marmite superior. Yeast. It causes it to rise to the occasion.

Cliff Buchler.

For more news your way, download The Citizen’s app for iOS and Android.