All of us buried Winnie long before her time

A part of you reels in sadness over her dying days, another in awe of her defiance against the apartheid regime – her latter days by far were her greatest moments in our history, but we divorced Nomzamo Winnie Madikizela-Mandela at the same time that Nelson Mandela walked out of their union.

It is ironic that his centenary coincides with her death – she refused to go down without a fight, even on her deathbed. You just have to love her for being that thorn in your side. A beautiful thorn at that.

They speak of roses that grow in concrete. Mama Winnie was a garden that grew without being cared for. She neglected her personal ambitions to secure ours; she sacrificed her freedom so that today I may enjoy mine.

As we buried Mandela, we forgot that beside him, spiritually, sometimes physically, was a woman who endured, faced abuse, isolation and detention. He gained his strength from her resilience.

We turned her into a villain because we needed to find fault for the dissolution of marriage of a power couple. A man that spent 27 years in prison could not be at fault, and so we picked sides.

We celebrated the icon, we sang his praises – but we forgot the role Winnie played in our democracy. We forget because history played the patriarchy card and we allowed it to make a fool of us.

Mama Sisulu, Mama Winnie, Mama Tambo – how long will these women only remain relevant because of the men they married?

How do we, as a society, allow this blatant patriarchy? This democratic South Africa was not solely built by these men. There were rocks that stood with them who fought just as hard.

They married the men and with that the struggle. They were the wives we are often told to be: strong, unshakable.

We allowed history to depict Winnie as angry. Was her anger acceptable then but deemed inappropriate when she no longer stood beside our struggle hero?

We forget that every wrinkle on that beautiful face, carries years of thankless sacrifice.

We buried her long before her time. Every single one of us, and for that we should hang our heads in shame.

Kekeletso Nakeli-Dhliwayo

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