A lot can go wrong in three days

Three days. That number can apply to a number of scenarios.

These include how long the infamous Titan submersible could have stayed submerged underwater before it ran out of oxygen for its passengers; the number of days per week that Meta (formerly Facebook) is demanding its employees work from the office after years of being regarded as a pro-remote working company; and how long it took the lira to free fall after the recent elections in Türkiye.

But that number was trending on Monday this week as pupils had been at home for just three days, for the winter holidays.

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Parents, guardians and gogos are complaining about how often their offspring open the fridge, every hour. They seem to be miners, as they extract some or other material such as leftovers, takeaways and even clearly marked “for your father” culinary surprises.

Parents are calling into talk radio stations not to comment on how there was an attempted insurrection in Russia, but about how their little ones are eating three packets of noodles in one sitting.

What these pupils do not seem to realise is that they are being used by WMC (white monopoly canned) food to distract the national dialogue.

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Instead of us concentrating on stories such as Edwin Sodi’s company Blackhead being blacklisted by the City of Tshwane for maladministration and poor performance at the Rooiwal water treatment plant, we are counting how many tins of Rhodes baked beans must fall.

In just three days, pantries, sculleries and kitchens resemble war zones as famished youngsters systematically raid them for something to keep them going for the next 30 minutes.

Even these educated traitors cannot explain to us as parents why, when they are at school, their packed lunch suffices, but this concept is blown out the water when they are home.

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This is almost as ridiculous as Minister in the Presidency Khumbudzo Ntshavheni recommending that President Cyril Ramaphosa should not take journalists with on his state visits after the Polish fiasco.

Imagine how disturbing it must have been to be stuck in Warsaw for 26 hours, without knowing if you will be detained or not? That is worse than opening the fridge and realising that one of your double-agent kids polished off your last vetkoek and mince, and drank your chilled smoothie!

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