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By Marizka Coetzer

Journalist


A day in life of a single mom

You cannot pour water from an empty cup. I wonder when last someone considered how much a child cost on a single salary?


Being a single mother is messy and traumatic and most of the times things don’t add up.

Every day we are tested as we try and juggle all the roles, but can only be at one place at a time.

Another thing that was messy recently was my daughter’s school books because she said she didn’t have glue to paste the pages. I found this strange because I specifically remember buying about four glue sticks at the beginning of the year.

It was at this point I wondered if the children at school were sniffing glue… as it was honestly about the fifth or sixth glue stick for the year, and we are not even halfway through the school year.

This was not the first time she had run out of glue or pens or pencils. I am no glue expert but my common sense tells me something doesn’t add up.

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What did add up was every R5 for a fun day at school, every extra R50 for glue and every R500 for a camp.

This obviously didn’t include all the bells and whistles that come with raising a child, such as new clothes every season, medicine for runny noses and other ailments – or tuckshop money every Friday.

After cross-questioning the child about the whereabouts of the glue sticks, I came to the conclusion that I had no other choice but to buy a new one.

The glue went missing. Gone. No more.

She didn’t have glue and her book resembled my wallet – more slips, than money. In her case, more papers outside the book, than inside.

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I don’t know if I was the only one currently counting my cents, but buying R50 or Pritt 10 days before payday wasn’t child’s play – or was it?

Sadly, in this day and age, I have to fork out every R50 my daughter needs, from extra glue to paying for extra mural activities.

How do you ask your child’s father to pay half? It’s R25 cash sent for glue in the middle of the month when he doesn’t have a cent to spare every other day of the month.

We live in South Africa and here everything costs money. Unfortunately you cannot pour water from an empty cup.

I wonder when last someone considered how much a child cost on a single salary?

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Another thing that didn’t add up, was giving your child money to buy something strange and overpriced at school for you for Mother’s Day. I promise I am not being ungrateful; I love the pink Lip Ice she got me. I am just puzzled who would buy and resell Lip Ice at a primary school as a Mother’s Day gift…

Again something didn’t add up.

So, on Mother’s Day evening, as I tucked my daughter in, she told me about a boy in her class that made fun of her.

Apparently, the boy made fun of her for picking her nose.

Before I could get a motivational speech in, she told me that she “roasted” him back and said at least she didn’t eat it.

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I told her that it was disgusting and they both should stop picking their noses. I will buy them tissues – another expense that added up.

“That’s nothing, Mom… the smartest girl in the class also picks her nose, and eats it – both nose holes at the same time,” my child told me.

It was at this point where I questioned my whole existence, from how I ended up being a single mom, to making sums to buy R50 glue and then listen to a 10 year old telling me about her peers’ love for picking their noses.

I simply again told her that they were disgusting and tucked her in and said good night.

But I ask myself, with all the challenges as a single mom – from the financial constraints, time limitations and fulfilling different roles –why was I the only one who has to listen to a snotty story? And what ever happened to the glue sticks?

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