Columnist Hagen Engler

By Hagen Engler

Journalist


What we really want is memories

Experience your life. Live it, but let it penetrate your soul, complete with all its joys, pain and difficulty.


It’s easy to be cynical about social media, but it really does have some elevating features. The Facebook memories feature is one of these. This is not just because we tend to post events and experiences that showcase our lives in the best possible light. “Wow!” we end up saying. “I was living my best life four years ago at Oppikoppi!” Meanwhile, it’s still recent enough for us to remember that, yes, that was the ’Koppi where we paralysed our hand and our phone got stolen. Ah, social media. Often rose-coloured filters are the only ones we use. I recently…

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It’s easy to be cynical about social media, but it really does have some elevating features. The Facebook memories feature is one of these. This is not just because we tend to post events and experiences that showcase our lives in the best possible light.

“Wow!” we end up saying. “I was living my best life four years ago at Oppikoppi!” Meanwhile, it’s still recent enough for us to remember that, yes, that was the ’Koppi where we paralysed our hand and our phone got stolen. Ah, social media. Often rose-coloured filters are the only ones we use.

I recently got to reminisce about a day I had exactly a decade ago. From what I’ve been able to piece together from Facebook memories, this is what my day involved… I would have risen from my bed around 4am, then dragged myself to OR Tambo to catch a flight to Durban. (Remember flights? Remember OR?)

It appears I made my flight, because my first posts show me on set at Wavepark Gateway. I am the editor of FHM magazine and we are filming a TV commercial. The ad stars Roxy Louw, our cover model of the time, and daughter of ex-Springbok Rob Louw. After shooting, we retire to the nearest restaurant for an impromptu wrap party, with some FHM readers, who have come to watch the shoot and to meet Roxy.

I know because these are the decade-old posts that I was served. We meet the professional rugby player whom Roxy is dating, and then return to the sprawling house we’re renting in Umhlanga. It’s the final of the 2010 Fifa World Cup in South Africa, between Spain and the Netherlands.

I remember the time of the wave park was a time of much stress. But one piece of advice I would have is simply this… Experience your life. Live it, but let it penetrate your soul, complete with all its joys, pain and difficulty. Let it leave a mark. Like food, roll it around on your tongue. Taste it before swallowing. Because at least then it will leave a trace, a memory.

Otherwise, photos will be all you have. What we really want is the memories.

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