World peace starts at home

This week I want to nominate two people for the Nobel peace prize.

Yes, I know the former military intelligence officer Abiy Ahmed, currently the prime minister of Ethiopia, received the 2019 award – and the millions and millions of rands in prize-money – last week.

But his record is tainted, to put it mildly.

And Aung San Suu Kyi, the Myanmar leader who won the prize in 1991, last week appeared before the International Court of Justice where she denied accusations of genocide against the Rohingya minority.

Not a good week for the Nobel committee.

How they hand peace awards to those warmongers is beyond me. Especially when there are such successful and real peacemakers among us.

If I could, I would revoke their awards and hand them to the following nominees:

My first nominee for the Nobel peace prize is the person who put a flashlight in a cellphone. That humanitarian has been responsible for eliminating millions of domestic arguments.

Remember power outages before cellphones?

“Where did you put the candles? And the matches!?”

“They’re where they always are. Just open your eyes!”

“Ouch! Who moved the couch!?”

“Where’s your mother when we need her? If she was here, she could just get up off her backside and there’d be light!”

“Leave my mother out of this!”

Then came the flashlight in the cellphone. Now there is a real peace deal.

My second nominee goes to the person who invented dual view television.

This is just a complete no-brainer. Look at our household, for example.

I am so much calmer and, dare I say it, at peace now that I’m not forced to watch horror movies with my clan anymore.

Danie Toerien.

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