I can’t wait to get my home and my peace back

For the life of me I can’t understand why I was so excited about television as a child. In those days, I was convinced life would be incomplete without a TV set.

Now, I despise it. Television is one of my pet hates, together with DIY, uncertainty and last-minute changes to plans. Things at home are wrapped up in a thick blanket of chaos, because the lovely Snapdragon, my present wife, is entangled in an all-consuming remodelling project.

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And, as is the case with most things, the remodelling is frustrating her and I have to face the music. Some days I can work from home, but I prefer to flee to the safety of my remodelling-free office. It’s been going on for six weeks now. I can’t wait to get my home and my peace back.

The project started in autumn, but I’ll be surprised if it is completed before spring.

“Why don’t you just ask her when they plan to be done?” My friend Niekie asked me at the office one morning.

That evening at home, she seemed to be in an agreeable mood and I decided to strike while the iron is hot.

“Everything looks beautiful. But if I may ask: when do you think the work will be done?”

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“It is looking good, isn’t it?” she asked. “But why do you want to know?”

“I can work from home some days and it is an enormous saving on fuel, but I need peace and quiet,” I said.

“And I want to do a few things in the house for you, too. But only after everything is completed. I want to… uhm… paint the kitchen and… uhm… refinish the upstairs wooden floor and… uhm…”

She loved the idea. “I don’t know when it will be finished,” she told me. “But I’ve added one more project: I want a cosy television room upstairs. One where the family can sit in the evenings and watch TV.”

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You just can’t win. I still don’t have a date when our home will be a construction-free zone, but I do know the project has been extended by a considerable time. Thanks to a last-minute change to the plans.

I’m stuck with several pieces of DIY and worst of all, I am bullied into a lot of TV viewing in the months to come. Sigh.