GBVF: Absent fathers hurt boys, president tells schoolboys

President Cyril Ramaphosa says it is important for the country to raise a nation of good men to end the scourge of gender-based violence and femicide (GBVF).

He was talking to schoolboys at Maponya Mall about preventing and combating of GBVF as part of the programme of the Presidential Young Men and Boys Indaba.

He said the societal approach should be changed to focus on boys as well because more focus seems to be given to young girls.

“We are correct in ‘What about the boys?’ because young men and boys must not be left behind. They must be part of our journey towards a South Africa free of gender-based violence. They must be encouraged and supported to be changemakers in society,” Ramaphosa said.

“As young men, you may be tired of being told you are a problem. You want your dignity respected and upheld. You want your good qualities to be recognised.

“As young men, you are vulnerable, too. You also experience depression, loneliness and frustration. These can sometimes manifest in aggressive behaviour, especially towards women and girls, problematic relationships and violence.”

Martin Sweet, managing director of Primestars, which runs a programme that promotes positive masculinity by equipping young men and boys with skills to share emotions in healthy ways, said they were trying to take it to all schools.

“We want to make young boys aware that dominance is out, that respect is in and they must learn about equity. It is very important to get the government to support programmes like this because it shows there’s a commitment to raising good men,” Sweet said.

He said masculinity was evolving, albeit not everywhere at the same time.

“Boys can cook and clean, boys shouldn’t be dominant, boys shouldn’t be violent and boys can cry. All these things are very new to a lot of boys but if we talk about them and we educate them, we will not have to protect our girls,” he said.

He said it was important that the president had come to the programme and said GBVF was on the increase and if it was not addressed in young men or boys, the objective would not be achieved.

He said to end gender-based violence, the focus must be prevention.

“We must stop this violence before it even happens. There must be an open and honest conversation about what contributes to violence against women and girls,” he said.

“You face a lot of pressure in the family, in relationships, with your friends, at school and places of higher learning, in your peer groups, and in society as a whole. In South Africa today, young black men are most vulnerable to violence,” Ramaphosa said.

He also encouraged men to be good role models for their children.

“Many young men may not have positive role models. Absentee fathers are one of the greatest tragedies of our nation. Only a third of South Africa’s children live with both parents. Most either live with their mother only, or with neither parent.

“We must talk about what it means for young men and boys not to have a father at home to support, encourage and guide them. We must talk about the pressure on young men and boys to drop out of school to earn a living because they have family members relying on them financially, or because they want to be independent.”