Facing 30: Navigating expectations vs reality

As I near 30, I find myself standing at the crossroads of expectation and reality. A close friend recently welcomed a baby into the world– leaving myself the last of my circle to do so – it hit me hard.

A quiet realisation: I’m at that age where I thought my life would look a certain way.

I can’t shake off the feeling that I have fallen behind, but it’s not just relationships alone.

A lot of my peers are more senior in their companies, make more money, own homes – milestones that society often take as benchmarks of success.

Yet here I am, grappling with the worrying feeling that life hasn’t unfolded according to what I at least had in mind.

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And with each passing day, the closer I get to 30 the more I realise I have to give a damn, even if I don’t want to.

It’s as if the years have slipped through my fingers, leaving behind a sense of panic. And it has almost become a race with time.

Maybe it is the imposter syndrome creeping in, it’s that voice consistently whispering where I should be, not doing enough.

I know It’s quite common, even with people who have reached a level of success, but this has created a terrible feeling that in my case, when I reach 30, it will be somehow late.

The massive gap between where I envisioned myself at this age and where I actually am is a bitter pill to swallow.

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The conversations I have with myself have gone from “I’ve got time” to “will it not be too late?”

I find myself wondering if I’ve missed the mark, if the path I’m on is one I’ll regret.

What’s worse is this quiet worry that somehow, even after 30, everything becomes harder.

The window of opportunity is slowly closing and the chance I have of achieving the things I desire will be harder to come by.

I recently shared these concerns with a colleague, stressing how I pray life comes to together before 30 – now that gives me not a lot of time to make everything work and fall in place.

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That vulnerable conversation attempted to reassure me that 30 can actually be a fresh start, rather than the “deadline” it has become.

People can attain success in their 30s, 40s or much later in life, but it’s a difficult realisation to accept.

I don’t want to look back and find myself playing catch-up because life dealt me the notso-great cards.

I’ve been reflecting on this lately and realised that the timelines we set for ourselves can be both motivating and limiting.

I am trying to understand that progress can’t always be forced into a strict timeline. Maybe it is a chance to reassess, realign instead.

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That while I might have set a deadline for myself, it’s equally important not to water down the personal growth and everyday progress.

As Oprah Winfrey famously said: “Doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.”

I’m trying to appreciate that personal progress doesn’t look the same every day.

Some days move faster, while others are slower, but that doesn’t mean things aren’t moving forward.

But I suppose the real challenge is learning to trust that I’m exactly where I need to be, even if it doesn’t match the version I imagined years ago.

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Trusting that every experience is part of a bigger plan, even when it goes off the plan, that is in fact how I can grow to who I’m meant to become.