9 questions to ask your child instead of ‘how was school today?’

Chances are if you ask your kid “how was school today?”, they are probably going to say it was ok and move on. It might sound like an open-ended question, but to them, it isn’t.

Can you imagine being asked, “how was school today?” five times a week?

The question ends up sounding redundant and repetitive. It will sound like the “how are you?” people ask in social settings. Yes, they asked, but they don’t want a negative response or details. Just say you’re fine and let us talk about something else.

So asking that question to your children sounds very similar.

Instead, here are nine questions you can ask your kids to get valuable information from them and to elicit trust in you as a parent.

1. What made you smile today?
2. Did anyone do anything silly to make you laugh?
3. Did you help anyone today?
4. Who did you sit with at lunch?
5. What was challenging about your day?
6. Is there anything that you’d like to talk about that I might be able to help you figure out?
7. What are you looking forward to tomorrow?
8. Did you learn something you didn’t understand?
9. What was your least favourite part of the day?

According to author and teacher Elena Aguilar, the trick is to ask these questions at the right time. It has to be in a setting where you cannot be distracted. Your child needs to feel like they have your undivided attention. So ask during the drive back home or during dinner.

The trust will come from a place of showing genuine concern for their day.

Aguilar also recommends that you pay attention as much as possible. If your child picks up a vibe of losing you, they will also switch off. It will be harder to try to ask these questions again tomorrow.

And no, you don’t ask all the questions at once. Ask at least two and ask follow-up questions. The questions are meant to kickstart a conversation. You will determine if it continues or not, especially depending on the responses to your questions. Some kids are chatterboxes while others are more closed-off, so tailor the conversation according to your child.

Happy chatting!

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