Maybe I am too old-school; maybe I still remember how you will be destroyed by assholes, writes Carine Hartman.
Controversial; politically incorrect, call me out, but The Gender Issue just breaks my heart.
My musician friend-with-benefits (ages and ages ago) has this brown-haired, curly-haired little Katryn. Well, when I saw her last.
In the past week I saw a new book by beautiful gender-(I’m now sure what to type now)“changed?” Robert, who took stunning pics of my kids and I decades ago, while both of us still celebrated womanhood.
Robert, who now claims secrets, lies, a queer and crooked memoir. Robert, who confronts and heals “gender confines and racism”.
My Robert? I am still getting my head around forgetting his female name.
But then a social media post popped up: little Katryn is now Miles. My instinct is to commiserate, which I tell my beneficial friend. I’m a parent. All I see is rejection; an uphill battle…
His reaction stuns me: “Miles has so become himself since he made his true gender orientation known, that it was never a problem for me. I am, however…”
However, his however is not my however. He wants to know what the ex-wife said about Katryn that’s-Miles. How she handled it.
My answer? She handled it beautifully. Acceptance.
That’s the way it is with our generation. And if you disagree, know I fall into the Baby Boomers; new parenting skills.
See Diane Keaton with those enormous chokers to hide a crow’s neck? That’s what my generation does – unlike Friends’ Monica with her unrecognisable Botox upper lip. My generation just gives lip; a lot of it; always.
But me? I am more than my hippie pants. Crow’s necks don’t bother me. You and whether you’re loved do, though.
So here’s my however. I have four kids I love unconditionally. Four kids who haven’t hinted as much at a true self.
Should I put that in inverted commas? I don’t know. But I don’t wish them pain, rejection, ridicule.
Maybe I am too old-school; maybe I still remember how you will be destroyed by assholes.
Or maybe you can live in the world I have little say over.
Welcome to my world, Miles.