WATCH: Own a fuel station? Then Nissan Patrol’s perfect for you

There are a number of differences between South Africa and the Middle East. To name but a few, there are lots of camels over there, a serious amount of sand and an enormous amount of crude oil under the earth’s surface.

If you want to own a Nissan Patrol in South Africa, a vehicle built for the Middle East, two of those three won’t matter too much. Your Patrol will cope just fine without being surrounded by dunes or having tons of camel poop to content with. But the lack of vast riches of fossil fuels … now there’s a problem.

Unlike previous generations of the Patrol, the Japanese carmaker only builds its seven-seater luxury SUV with petrol engines these days. And the only derivative sold locally features the biggest of the lot, namely the monstrous 5.6-litre V8 naturally aspirated powerplant. Make no mistake, this is an absolutely superb vehicle we enjoyed every minute in during its weekend-long stay with The Citizen, but we can’t start singing its praises without addressing the elephant in the room first. Its ginormous thirst.

As this huge chunk of metal under the bonnet’s output of 298 kW of power and 560 Nm of torque would suggest, the powerplant pulls the 2.7-ton vehicle like an Olympic athlete. But Olympic athletes require more than water and air. And down at the southern most tip of Africa, petrol costs a whole lot more money that water and air.

Despite the manufacturer’s claim that the Patrol can get 14.4L/100 km, we could only manage fuel consumption figures of 18.8L/100 km over the course of the 523 km we travelled. Even if you can afford the price tag of R1 530 900, you’ll still robbed every time you have to fill the 140-litre (100 + 40 reserve) fuel tank at R14.26 per little when you’ll struggle to get below 19L/100 km. Do the maths. If you show up at the pumps running on fumes, you’ll pay around R2 000 to refuel to only travel a tad more than 700 km before having to repeat the process.

From a pure economy point of view, these numbers put the Patrol on the backfoot against its direct competitor, the Toyota Land Cruiser 200 VX-R. The Cruiser is only available with a 4.5-litre V8 diesel engine and even though it is thirstier than the claimed consumption of 10.2L/100 km, even if you add a few clicks to that number you’ll end up paying a whole lot more on fuel every month. And you’ll pay off the price difference of R13 200 off in no time.

But in its defence, the Patrol’s biggest drawback is actually also its biggest drawing card, as the drivetrain is an absolute titan. Where you can appreciate this the most is while cruising on the open road. When you are going along at the national speed limit and need to overtake, the Patrol goes along its business effortlessly. Instant response, a gentle V8 roar as the seven-speed automatic transmission gears down and a few seconds later the job is done. All this in the comfort and space of a cruiseliner.

We did not do hard core off-roading with the Patrol, but have no doubt that this beaut of an engine will live up to the car’s heritage and get the it over any terrain in conjunction with the Intelligent four-wheel-drive system.

Some might argue that the Patrol is getting a bit old, Nissan did do well in freshening it up one year ahead of i’s 70th anniversary. The new design is highlighted by the V-motion grille and boomerang-shaped LED headlights at the front, while new taillights also feature the boomerang shape. They are seamlessly integrated along with a large chrome nameplate and sequential rear turn indicators, which have been added for the first time on a Nissan vehicle. Eighteen-inch wheels featuring nine- twin spoke complete the exterior picture.

On the inside it’s as good as any business class seat on a main airliner: plush and spacious. Yes, it might not be as tech-laden and premium as an offering from an out-an-out premium brand, but that does not detract one bit from the good old-fashioned and honest comfort it offers.

A well-rounded combination of wooden panel insert, leather inserts and chrome finishing lend the Patrol a certain statesmanlike aura on the inside. The seats feature new diamond-stitch quilted leather with added padding, while the steering wheel is also hand-stitched. An eight-inch infotainment system features a 13-speaker Bose sound system, while DVDs can be enjoyed on the two eight-inch screens at the back of the front seats with the luxury of wireless headphones.

Apart from its power, the Patrol’s spaciousness is another standout feature. There are acres of head and legroom for occupants in the second row, while the third row also offers more space than your run-of-the-mill seven-seater. And even with the third row up, bootspace is pretty darn impressive. The Patrol also features ample safety systems, including standard Intelligent Cruise Control and Intelligent Driver Alert.

Specification-wise there is very little to choose between the Patrol and Land Cruiser 200 VX-R. It’s basically two pedigree heavyweights matching each other blow for blow, bar the Cruiser’s obvious sucker punch. The diesel engine.

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