Model and businesswoman Chrissy Teigen returned to social media after suffering a heartbreaking miscarriage in late September.
The celebrity cook who openly shares much with her millions of followers took a break after announcing she was rushed to hospital and underwent two blood transfusions, but she and John Legend lost their third child, who they had already named Jack.
She wrote: “We are shocked and in the kind of deep pain you only hear about, the kind of pain we’ve never felt before. We were never able to stop the bleeding and give our baby the fluids he needed, despite bags and bags of blood transfusions. It just wasn’t enough.”
Just about a month after this, Teigen made her return to social media by sharing a touching note. “I had no idea when I would be ready to write this. Part of me thought it would be early on when I was still really feeling the pain of what happened.
“I thought I would sit in the corner of my bedroom with the lights dimmed, just rolling off my thoughts. I’d have a glass of red wine, cosy up with a blanket and finally get the chance to address what happened,” the note read.
She adds not knowing how to put the words together she instead wants to thank people who have reached out to her and her family. Teigen detailed the lead up to the miscarriage how she was losing massive amounts of blood in the last few days and day by day she knew the dreadful time would come when she would have to say goodbye.
“For weeks, our floors have been covered in flowers of kindness. Notes have flooded in and have each been read with our own teary eyes.”
She tweeted sharing this information gave her a panic attack.
Phew I just had a full on panic attack of more tear snot just knowing anyone read this. I’ve missed you all terribly. pic.twitter.com/A38rDfyms3
— chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) October 27, 2020
Teigen said their son Jack would always be loved and they have explained to their two kids Luna, four, and Miles, two, that he exists “in the wind” and “the butterflies they see”.
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I didn’t know how to come back to real life so I wrote this piece for Medium with hopes that I can somehow move on but as soon as I posted it, tears flew out because it felt so….final. I don’t want to ever not remember jack. . . Thank you to everyone who has been so kind. Thank you to the incredible doctors who tried so hard to make our third life a reality. Thank you to my friends and family and our entire household for taking care of me through all the adult diaper changes, bed rest and random hugs. Thank you John for being my best friend and love of my life. A lot of people think of the woman in times like this but I will never forget that john also suffered through these past months, while doing everything he could to take care of me. I am surrounded, in a human therapy blanket of love. I am grateful and healing and feel so incredibly lucky to witness such love.