Women get real about pregnancy, birth and postpartum – Part 2
From people being judgy to the baby blues and the "ring of fire", women get real about what happens when they delivered.
Young woman holding newborn baby in hospital bed
Last week we shared some tales about the journey into motherhood where women got real about their experiences talking about pregnancy, birth and postpartum. In Part 2 we don’t hold back either! Take a look at what some women experienced.
A due date is JUST AN ESTIMATION…1st babies usually come after 40 weeks. Mine arrived at 41 weeks. Cut all negative people off! Dont listen to scare tactics. You just listen to your body and start practicing that mommy instinct. I have never felt so close to God! The whole relationship between you and your husband will change. It is super natural and both births were the absolute best experiences of my life! You can do this!!!! I am so very excited for you!!!-Dielda Mienie
The baby blues… and how important it is for others around you to help during that time even if you don’t ask. –Esmari Coetzee
Don’t let other stories make you scared… you are allowed to tell people you do not want to hear their horror stories. I hate how most positive stories are not told as much. Birth is beautiful, and scary, and amazing, and powerful, but you need to experience it, not have this notion in your head that it’s going to be terrible. Shut out the noise of people!!-Caitlin Pottier
It’s OK to ask for help. And to take help when it’s offered.No one prepared me for the possibility of NICU (and all that goes with it) – Stephanie Nel
Pregnancy – I wish I knew how vital it was to choose the correct caregiver as it will most likely determine whether you’re going to have your baby naturally or via a cesarean section.
Labour – I wish my midwife or someone else would have elaborated on the ring of fire, how it is even more painful than all the contractions combine and how to handle it in the moment. I’m pretty sure I tore more than I needed to because I pushed extremely hard just to make the ring of fire stop.
Postpartum – I wish I knew that it was normal and okay to be extremely disappointed and depressed when you had a c-section and you desperately wanted to deliver naturally. I also wish that someone told me about those darn hemorrhoids and that you can get them BAD after pregnancy and birth. Lastly I also wish that someone told me it was normal to feel extremely anxious even if you’re normally not an anxious person.-Willemijn de Kock
In my opinion. We should be well educated about ALL our options to make the best choice for ourselves and our unborn babies and give birth the facelift it needs.I think the dad’s should know they have a major role to play during pregnancy and labour. Especially in hospital. Moms need the man to stand up and sit foot down as we are so focussed and exhausted and hormonal that causes sensitivity as well as the fact that we are fragile at those tender moments that major decisions gets made. We should have our men more involved to support the moms as what gets decided there will change everyones lives involved forever.-Sonja Bouma-du Plessis
Another thing I didn’t want to bring up that I really didn’t know is the fact that since the day you tell people you are pregnant you will be judged in every single thing you do and EVERYONE including people without kids will be commenting on everything and telling you what to do and what not to do no matter how many kids you have, other mothers are always “the better mom” and break each other down or are nasty. Yes mom bashing is a real thing! And i think it’s time this was put to an end. All of us try to be the best mom that we can and people like this made my PPD, anxiety and PTSD much more worse than what it was supposed to be to the point where even my breastfeeding was being influenced. And now 14 months later and still breastfeeding that’s also apparently not right anymore. Just leave mom’s be and give advice/comments when it is asked for. Stop bashing each other –Silvani Claudia Beukes
There is so much info and focus on pre- natal and I felt like there was nothing post- natal. Just to be look after and ‘held’. It’s missing here. I experienced more care with my second birth just by changing my midwife and this made me think about it. Things I didn’t know: The contractions continue afterbirth.The internal all checks are more painful than birth itself as well as when they push on your tummy afterwards.That golden hour after birth is so very important .You bleed ALOT after birth.Breast feeding is really hard AND you will never be the old you anymore- Tracey Thurlow
Katrina Meek is a mother, a wife, a sister, an Aunty, a friend and a doula. I believe birth is incredibly beautiful and powerful. It is a sacred moment and quite possibly one of the most important and life-changing events in a woman’s life. I believe if women can carry the courage and strength they gain from a positive birth experience and transfer those qualities to their daily life the possibilities are endless. As a doula, I believe in supporting your strength and acknowledging the choices you make. It is a privilege to witness a birth. It is profound.