Why raising twins is different to raising singletons

Any mom of multiples will tell you the first three months are the pyjama parade and moms will do anything to make their day easier and keep them sane. So those cliche comments that are passed by single baby moms to twin baby moms who have the best intentions sometimes need to be taken with a pinch of salt.

Some of the comments that twin moms can ignore (or adapt). 

Demand feed your babies

Now that is just insane. From a mom who did demand feed her first baby, I can tell you that if I had
done that for my twins I don’t think I would have even had time to sleep or eat. Routine is key to
creating normality in a home and assisting your babies. I wouldn’t even try anything else. Now I
know that routine is the current trend in parenting, but this a trend that I really like and I see many
benefits in for moms of multiples.

Put your babies in separate rooms

Parents of singletons have a tendency to put their children in their own rooms because of age difference if they have the space. They also enjoy creating their own space and allowing the children to explore their individuality. However, multiples have a special bond. They are in the womb together, they start off in a cot together, then move into separate cots in the same room. Why move them into separate rooms if they are happy to share a room? They are not only siblings but also best of friends. They provide comfort for each other.

Pick up crying babies

There is no guilt needed here for being a dummy plugger. If a twin mom had to pick up one of her babies every time they cried she would be entering the next iron women competition. A little bit of crying it out won’t do them any harm. A mom should not ignore a crying baby, but at the same time, a mom needs to establish which baby’s needs are more important at that moment.

Dress your twins alike

This is a personal choice. Some parents agree, others disagree. The questions is: how can parents of single babies comment on this? It’s one of the perks of having multiples that we get to dress them alike – if only for a short time. When they get into their toddler years they will quickly comment on whether they like being dressed like their sibling or not. Yes, each child is an individual and they should be creating their own identity but who can resist those “copy , paste” outfits?

Take your babies out in public often

For a mom of a singleton, it’s quick and easy to pack a nappy bag, strap a baby in the car seat, put a pram in the car and head to the mall. However, with twins, it’s double the amount of luggage and probably triple the amount the time. Then there is all the attention one gets at the mall and the questions..

When I am asked, “Are they, twins?” I am tempted to reply “No I left their sister at home because they are triplets”. So popping down to the mall when they are a month old is a brave – and well-orchestrated outing.

The list can go. My advice is: don’t compare yourself to moms of single babies. You are unique and have been blessed with twins or triplets – or maybe even more. Take it in your stride and do what feels best for you. If you need advice, ask other moms of multiples or consult your paediatrician.

No two days are the same and you are doing the best you can to get through them.

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