To share or not to share?: Social media grieving and its potential landmines

It is never easy sharing information about lost loved ones to close family and friends, so why do some feel the need to post it on their Facebook page, Instagram, or tweet about it?

There is a point of view from some people that they feel it important to inform their followers what has been happening in their lives even if it may not affect them personally.

How we share our news and stories has massively changed over the years for some people. Gone are the days of that special phone call about a wedding invite or, sadly, the departure of a loved one.

We are sharing more and more private information about our personal lives with total strangers, and there is a certain comfort that comes from doing this, and receiving some much needed comfort when you feel those close to you are not providing it.

People happily share their announcements of an engagement, wedding, pregnancy, or announcements of a divorce or a break-up.  Additionally, people are also sharing news of loss and other personal issues that some might say is too much information and may be a cry for attention.

Some of us have even found out about the death of a friend or family member through a WhatsApp status. This can be seen as insensitive, particularly if you felt you should have been informed privately. On the other hand, sending multiple messages, and calling people can be taxing for the person with the information.

Navigating personal news in this time can be hard and doing it the ‘right’ way means different things to different people.

Giving so much and being open already makes one vulnerable on social media, and it leaves the door open for people to think they have the right to judge what you post and how you post it.

Media personalities Lasizwe Dambuza and Khanyi Mbau have openly shared how devastating their father’s loss has been on them. Messages of condolences quickly poured in on their timelines, but this changed when Lasizwe shared images of the funeral over the weekend. Messages of comfort turned to malice.

Personally, I do not find pictures of funeral services that depict grief, sorrow, or family members crying and grieving, acceptable for the public domain. For me, some things should be left to your own personal circle, instead of being placed in the public sphere, hoping for likes and retweets.

Some social media users said Lasizwe’s close-up pictures of him crying were inappropriate to share, overly dramatic, and attention-seeking.

We can all freely decide what to disclose to the public, even if you are a celebrity. Whether you have 10 followers your happiness and sadness is open for any critic these days.

Although like others, Lasizwe pictures may have made me feel uncomfortable, I would never find the need to comment my thoughts.

Why, you may ask? Because it’s not any of my business and people should mourn as they deem fit.

It is easy, continue to scroll up and look for other things that would take up your time.

In his own words, Lasizwe said: “Some people tend to forget we mourn differently and life isn’t a group assignment. If I choose to mourn on social media respect my wishes… isocial media yam le!”

Sandisiwe (Sandi) is a lifestyle and current affairs liker of things. Always aiming to inform readers of the best content there is and producing content that mirrors her interests and opinions. She enjoys frequent luncheons, wants to see more of the world, sit court side at Wimbledon one day and cause a digital storm one day.

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