This book may be the solution to your singledom this Valentine’s Day

That most celebrated day of love featuring cherubs in over-sized diapers, roses, chocolates, and unnecessary dinner dates is upon us once again.

Suddenly being alone is not an option and whether you are looking for a meaningful long-term relationship, a free movie and meal, or the possibility of your date putting out after you’ve shelled out oodles of cash, Cupid’s arrow is going to find you.

Unless, of course, you’re not easily fazed by the over commercialised notion of romance and choose to stay in the dark safety of your room to Netflix and Chill – aka choke the chicken, shake hands with the mayor, air the orchard, spank the monkey… you get the drift.

Unlike Netflix and Chill, masturbation is not new. It was first heard of in the 18th century. And since time immemorial, people have seen it as morally incorrect and something that comes with ghastly side effects. Well, to put matters straight, it is normal to satisfy and please yourself sexually. And it is done by people of all age groups.

But if you really are afraid of the old myths that you will grow hair on your palms, lose your eyesight, or start speaking in tongues, then we have the perfect antidote for you. So leave your copies of Los Lyf, Hustler and Playboy under your bed and grab a hold of Images You Should Not Masturbate To by author Graham Johnson.

https://twitter.com/tokenfilipino/status/991856573982167041

This deceptively simple and strangely addictive book presents a collection of carefully curated laugh-out-loud pictures guaranteed to throw a wet towel over even the strongest libido or put any soldier standing at attention at ease.

It’s as effective as a cold shower for a lonely soul on Valentine’s Day and will save you a fortune on chocolates, restaurants, movie tickets and, well, tissues.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VdlrOvSKY48

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