Sometimes all you need is for someone to say: ‘I understand… I’ve been there and you are not alone’

Motherhood is a beautiful yet challenging journey. Single Motherhood is even more challenging as one person carries what was meant to be a journey for two.

The day I became a mother, a single mom to be specific, I made every effort to join all mom groups possible in my area because I knew the challenges of the journey I was about to embark on, and I did not want to go through it alone. And so I attended every one of the groups I found on social media, I had a mom group for almost every day. I’m so glad I did that as it helped me feel like I’m not alone. To be surrounded by mothers who were going through a similar journey made me feel encouraged.

As much as it was helpful, I realised I was always that one single mom who could not relate fully with all the other moms. Most of them were married, stay-at-home moms living comfortable lives. And I was a single still-studying-and-looking-for-a-job mom. I felt a bit like I didn’t quite fit in. I then started looking specifically for single mom groups and found none. Absolutely none.

Since being under lockdown I have to be honest and say it has been a bit more challenging than usual. I have felt lonely, frustrated, discouraged, exhausted, overwhelmed to name a few emotions. Under normal circumstances, when I felt such emotions (which is often) I could easily call a friend to meet up, drop my daughter off with a friend and have some me time (which I have not had since the lockdown). I could go out with her to the park, beach or a restaurant. And it certainly helped me feel better. However, these are not normal circumstances. The best I can do during this time is to turn to God for strength.

I recently found myself searching for single mom support groups once again (I don’t give up) and I did find a few but all far from me. At this point, I told myself that I would take it upon myself to create a platform for single moms in my area to support each other through our journey. I know there are plenty of us in such situations. I’ve also realised that sometimes you don’t even need much, just for someone to say, “I understand, I know how you feel, I’ve been there and you are not alone.”

That in itself can be enough to push us to keep going. I decided to create a support group on Facebook and Instagram Dear Single Mama in hopes that other single mamas searching can find it and we can all support each other.

Andisiwe Ngaleka

I’m a teacher by profession, Jesus lover and coffee addict in my mid-twenties. Growing up I had this beautiful picture of how I’ve always envisioned my life to be. Life though, had other plans for me. 4 years ago I became a single mom to a beautiful daughter and my life changed forever. My greatest aspirations are to live fully in my God given purpose and make a difference while I’m in this world, and to live an authentic life embracing the vulnerabilities of my journey.

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