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By Hein Kaiser

Journalist


Mzansi’s steamy sex confessions: ‘Fifty Shades’ has nothing on everyday South Africans

Infidelity in relationships or for that matter, consensual polyamory and double female throuples are on the increase.


If online revelations about sexual antics by South Africans are real, then it peels away layers of pretence to reveal some shocking truths about fantasies lived in the daily bump and grind.

It lies far beyond the imagination of average Joe and Jody. But then again, the confessions are from everyday kind of people, and that makes it even more shocking, and revealing.

There are confession groups all over Instagram and Mzansi’s contributions and comments on platforms like Reddit are enough to make even the most hardened fans of Fifty Shades of Grey blush at first, and then read further because some of the antics are absolutely sensational.

From campus crushes to saucy secrets, these pages spill it all

From student community handles that drop hookups and relationship issues into cyberspace through to revelations about their naughty sexual behaviour from people like you and I, pages like Sixty Confessions drive a hard bargain with your imagination.

One recent confession sees a man spill the beans about how he picks up young women on cruise ships, usually at the pool, where he preys on them while consoling them about an argument with their families. He bragged that it was easy to take advantage of them, get them into bed, with some rude and lewd comments in-between.

And he’s not the only one. There are thousands of these kinds of anonymous confessions that seems as if they come straight from porn sites. Difference is these scripts reflect real life, users say.

Another post on a varsity timeline shared how a student never wears bras or panties to campus because it makes her feel exhilarated and sexually turned on, because nobody knows her secret. She fessed up further that it also allows her to orgasm multiple times during the day, even when writing exams, by syntrabating or in other words, achieving a solo and hands free orgasm.

Women make up the majority of contributors and, when men post, it still indicates that their partners manage the bedroom and all that occurs between the sheets. Few guys in confession posts seem to take the lead when it comes to sex and kink.

The rise of throuples, polyamory, and high-yech solo play

Curiously on another timeline that allows for longer stories, infidelity in relationships or for that matter, consensual polyamory and double female throuples are on the increase. That is, if you simply count the number of posts and what people are talking about. Solo sex toys like remote controlled wearable vibrators and dildos, again used at the office or even when going to the movies, are all the rage. Sex lives, based on confessions, has become all about her pleasure.

One boyfriend shared a confession by his girlfriend that, during a period of separation, she met, partied with and eventually has sex with three men that she met at a club. And he wrote about how it turned him on to think about this while having sex with her, after kissing and making up.

Cuckholding or the act of watching your partner be intimate with someone else, is also gaining ground, though still mostly in the shape of a man watching his lover and another woman have some fun. There are posts about this all over Instagram’s confession pages.

There are also some pretty sad-sack flavoured posts. People who offer masturbation in return for e-hailing taxi fares, guys who offer one-night stands that get no responses and others offering themselves to couples as submissive partners where anything goes in the bedroom. Real or not, the adventures that people get up to read like an X-rated script suited to sites like Porn Hub.

NOW READ: Sex confessions of a polyamorous lover

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