Sex hit parade: Mzansi is a naughty nation

There’s no doubt that sex and sexuality along with fetishes and fantasy has become far more mainstream and acceptable in a post-pandemic environment.

It must have been the years we all spent coupled up with our thoughts and naughty to keep us company, or the chinwags we had with our partners that transported us to extremes. Be that as it may, fetish is here to stay, and a bit of research has shown that South Africans have a taste for sex less ordinary.

Here’s a hit parade of some of the more searched for kinds and fetishes collected over the past few months:

1. BDSM (bondage, discipline, dominance, submission)

Topping the list is BDSM, a favourite exploration for many. From ropes and restraints to the power dynamics of dominance and submission. This is where your imagination can take you places you never imagined before.

Whether you’re into being tied up or taking control, or swapping roles, remember the safe word and never hurt your partner. Beyond that, there are no rules and limitations to what you can get up to. No wonder BDSM is one of the most searched about sex themes in South Africa.

2. Voyeurism and exhibitionism

Sneaking a peek or showing off, voyeurism and exhibitionism are climbing the popularity ranks. A few years ago it would not have featured in the sexual top ten, but since the pandemic it has surged in popularity.

Whether it’s a cheeky glance at someone or someone through an open curtain or you flaunting a sheer outfit, the thrill of the visible and the seen, secretly, makes this a hot trend. It’s about breaking down the barriers between private and public, where every moment has the potential to become an erotic epic.

3. Foot fetishes

Feet and footwear are a major turn-on for the giant majority of people with a fetish. Whether it’s high heels or the curves and architecture of a foot, this fetish includes a wide range of interests and is one of the most socially accepted; probably because so many people are turned on by it. It’s a tactile, highly visual fetish that also, to some, includes other senses like scent, movement, and taste.

4. Role-playing and costumes

Be whomever you want to be. Whether you wish to play nurse to a sexy superhero or the furry in the teacher’s kennel, role-playing, and costumes add a playful twist to bedroom antics. It’s all about escaping reality and exploring the deep reaches of fantasy. Whether you’re pretending to be a super spy or the honey trap, role-playing allows couples to explore new dynamics and keep things fresh. The more creative the better and role play and dress up holds the potential to enhance intimacy and communication, and of course, extraordinary naughty adventures.

5. Pet play

Shuffling into the top ten from nowhere, pet play has become huge. Pet play is a form of role-playing where one or more participants take on the role of a pet or animal, typically with one person acting as the “owner” or “handler.”

It’s all about simplifying complexity and holding on to your animal instincts. It’s a liberating experience for many, as online comments share, and pet play can be linked with many of the dynamics in BDSM power play. Furthermore, it’s playful, naughty and wagging tail fun, say its fans.

6. Leather and Latex

Leather and Latex have never lost its appeal and here, it’s all about texture, how the materials shape your body and the irresistible tightness of it all. Then, there is the sheen of Latex and the rockstar sensual feel of leather that harks to BDSM scenarios. From gloves, underwear, skirts, crop jackets through to full-body suits, the texture and visual appeal of these materials are an extreme turn on. This is probably why leather and Latex will always be in the top ten of fetish.

7. Going public

Related to exhibitionism, but with an extra thrill. Joining the mile high club, hanky-panky in a retail fitting room, mutually masturbating under a blanket in the cinema. These are adventurous thrills that add an adrenaline rush to sex. It’s all about the excitement of doing something taboo, and not being caught or, for some, being noticed from the corner of someone else’s eye.

8.  Going commando

Going commando, or not wearing underwear, has seen a surge in interest. In fact, it’s becoming as much of a trend as going braless. It breaks the barriers of social norms and can be empowering for an individual while for others, it can be sexy to the extreme.

Think the Sharon Stone interrogation scene in Basic Instinct. For both men and women, not wearing underwear serves as an automatic arousal trigger that can last all day. For others, a peak, a wonder, and a curiosity can occupy fantasy thoughts for hours.

9.   Soft play

Friends with benefits and couples who don’t want to venture into full swinging have made soft swinging or soft play a top tenner. It’s simply about pleasure and could include oral sex, but soft play rarely goes beyond mutual masturbation.

It’s a safe space where friends can share more profound experiences without crossing a line or couples can experiment with a third person, or another couple, in play that also does not break too many emotional rules. Not only that, but it’s the kind of play that does not create emotional complexity and is free of judgement and prejudice.

10. Cuckolding

Watching your partner having sex with someone else is not everyone’s cup of tea, but it is becoming somewhat of a popular fantasy. It’s called cuckolding and has elements of humiliation and submission, a la BDSM. It also demands a strong bond and open communication between couples.

For those who indulge, the mix of jealousy and arousal creates an intense emotional experience. Cuckolding is an emotionally charged sex fetish which is not for everyone, because occasionally the risk is not worth the temporary reward. For others, it’s a fulfilling way of life.

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