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By Karabo Motsiri Mokoena

Writer. Conversationalist. South African Mommy Blogger,Content Producer


Radio host, Bailey Schneider answers our mom questions

Bailey shares her biggest frustrations regarding moms on social media who ask for medical advise from moms who are not doctors.


Radio Presenter, Emcee, Voice Over Artist, Blogger and Social Media Manager Bailey Schneider answers a few of our mom questions and shares some relatable mom moments.

Being a mom is…. one of the biggest honours. It has challenged me, changed me for the better and put things into perspective.

The last time I gagged because of my kid was when… I had to change the nappy bin. I have a bin that twists the nappy bags so it cuts off odours, however, I hadn’t tied the bin bag properly and it all unravelled, getting a stinky whiff that made my stomach turn.

The last time I cried was when my child said: “Mommy, you’re not my best friend anymore!” It came out of the blue and for no reason at all. He just walked down the passage and told me that. I don’t know why, but it felt like a little sucker punch right in the feels and my eyes actually watered. I was actually surprised at my own reaction because it was really funny, but man, those words from a little 2 year 11 month old toddler slammed my Mama heart.

My advice to other moms would be   to remember the power of your Mama Intuition. You are the  perfect Mom for your children and deep down you know  exactly what you need to do, so let go of the guilty feelings and the worry and remember this: You are enough.

My favourite part about being a mom is the way their skin and hair smells, their little kisses and the way their hands find mine. I love watching the world through their eyes – it’s all so fresh and inviting. I love hearing the new words and sentences my toddler says – his imagination makes me smile. I love watching my 5 month old take everything in with these wise eyes that look like they hold the worlds solutions. I am in awe of these little boys as I watch them grow right in front of me.

The biggest challenge is letting go of the Mom Guilt. I always joke that you leave your Dignity at the door, when you give birth and you go home with a baby and a bag of Mom Guilt. Breastfeeding has also been my biggest challenge. I struggled with my first son. He never latched and I didn’t produce enough milk, but because I made some milk I wanted him to have some of it. It meant that I expressed for each and every feed (every 4 hours) around the clock, for 7 months. I was always envious of Mothers with fridges and freezers full of milk. I never had enough to set aside – each pump was for the next feed (with a top up of formula.) Second time around, I wanted to give the breastfeeding a go again and see if it would be a different story.

I didn’t know what to expect, but my baby was born hungry – he came out with a strong, healthy pair of lungs and cried and cried until I latched him. He latched and wanted to breastfeed, but I got terrible nipple damage, nipple thrush – or so we thought. I worked with a wonderful lactation specialist who finally figured out that it wasn’t Nipple Thrush, but rather a very rare condition called Vasospasm… it is painful and burns badly. I’ve never cried so much, but I wanted to persevere because this time around, my baby actually latched AND I had a good supply of milk. 5.5 months in and the pain has subsided (or I’ve gotten used to it) and I’m proudly Breastfeeding.

My biggest mom guilt is when I go to work and leave my boys behind. For a while I was caught up in feeling guilty that I was excited to go to work, because I really love what I do. It made me feel guilty, that perhaps I shouldn’t want to work – that I should want to be home with my babies instead. However, I’ve come to realise that I am a better Mom because I work. I come home fulfilled and excited to see my boys.

My success as a parent is measured by my boys happiness. My 5.5 month old is nicknamed “Mr. Happy” because he smiles all the time; and my toddler is a really happy little boy who finds the joy in the smallest things. I’m also really proud of his manners. “Manners Maketh Man.”

The most important affirmation I say to my child is “May you be strong and kind and wise” … it’s more my wish for my sons – for them to always be strong enough and wise enough to do the right thing, and to always do it with kindness.

The most important behaviour/attitude I mirror for my child is being consistent and trying to be as present as possible.

My work-life balance as a working mum is a work in progress. There are days that I nail it and days that are chaotic.

I hate when other moms…. belong to Whatsapp groups/ Facebook Motherhood groups and ask for medical advice from women who don’t have the medical knowledge. It’s one thing to ask for advice on which cream works well for nappy rash, but it’s another thing when it’s something more serious.

I remember seeing one Facebook group with a picture of a large gash on this child’s head and the caption: “My child fell off the jungle gym and is bleeding badly and vomiting. Do you think she’s OK?” I wanted to reply: Get off Facebook and go seek medical attention immediately. This woman had the time to photograph her bleeding child, upload it to Facebook and caption it and then probably wait for others to comment. It just blew my mind.

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