Pondering the age old question, why do people cheat?

Relationships face many obstacles, and cheating is one of the tipping points which can end one.

Infidelity from a partner can cause complete turmoil, and relationship therapist Esther Perel said cheating is something unexpected, an expression of longing and loss.

Perel says she is trying to change the most common stereotype, that men cheat out of boredom and fear of intimacy, while women cheat out of loneliness and hunger for intimacy.

“There is one simple act of transgression that can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, and their very identity: an affair. And yet, this extremely common act is so poorly understood. So this talk is for anyone who has ever loved.”

She explained that affairs are less about sex and are actually more about desire.

“Desire for attention, desire to feel special, desire to feel important. Desire to not have your lover keeps you wanting,” she said.

Cheating has ‘evolved’ over the years.

Before one would say infidelity involved either an emotional or sexual relationship with a person who’s not your partner or watching porn. Now with texting and social media, things have become more complicated, and what constitutes cheating harder to define.

Watch her TED talk on rethinking infidelity:

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