Adventures in online dating: Meet Mr Familiar

You’re able to get an idea of what someone is like and hopefully you can suss out whether meeting them in person is a good idea. However, there are a few things that can’t be determined until you’re trapped in the dreaded date with nowhere to run.

Perhaps the problem lies in the dating game itself, and is merely exacerbated by the fact that you’re able to hide a Riaan Cruywagen-style toupee and a bizarre fetish for diapers behind a computer screen.

You could tell people that Brad Pitt’s good looks pale in comparison to your own and they’d be none the wiser. This is all provided that they know you as Hottie25 and not by your actual name Facebook and Google will kill off their dreams and ruin your facade.

I hate to break it to you, but if you call yourself SexyPecs or HotBuns or yes, Hottie25, chances are you won’t get a lot of hits. “Mr Familiar” was actually a breath of fresh air when we chatted. He was fun and friendly, and didn’t feel the need to send me photos of himself in his birthday suit, which is apparently is an ever more common trait.

Meeting him seemed like a safe bet, although I did ignore one slightly worrying message where he told me that he would meet me during the day as he had a problem with me driving at night. While this was a sweet gesture, it seemed a bit too forward.

The date was awkward. Mr Familiar behaved like we had known each other for years and not in a comfortable, “old friends” kind of way. To the Mr (and Miss) Familiars of the world, some advice:

1. While nerves may turn you into a wise-cracking Chandler Bing, making jokes about someone’s religion or culture on the first date is not a great start.

2. While you may feel uber comfortable after that fourth whiskey, your date may not be on the same page, so perhaps getting handsy should be avoided.

3. You might be interesting, but let your date find that out over time, instead of telling them all your darkest memories at once.

4. A person who spends most of her time trying to wriggle from your grasp is not trying to get you to demand a goodnight kiss. So try to avoid acting indignant when you’re shot down.

I’d like to say that I made a graceful exit after that date, but I’m afraid I’d be lying. I’m sure Mr Familiar had plenty of fun telling people about his date with Miss Squealing Tyres.