‘I’m so exhausted’: Parenting burnout is a reality for a lot of moms during lockdown

The lockdown has presented people with some unique challenges. For those that have the responsibility of taking care of families, these challenges have been overwhelming. 

Many parents had to adjust to working from home in the presence of their demanding children. Moms with younger children are immensely challenged as their kids cannot understand what is happening. 

As far as their toddlers know, mom and dad are home so we can play until sunset. 

Homeschooling has also added to the list of things mom has to learn and do well. And teaching is not for everyone. Homeschooling alone exerts a lot of stress on parents. 

That plus the responsibilities of taking care of the home, making food, trying to work, and tending to everyone else’s needs may inevitably lead to burn out. 

According to Psychology TodaySouth Africa: “Burnout is a state of emotional, mental, and often physical exhaustion brought on by prolonged or repeated stress.”

Burnout can particularly surface in parenting, where moms are working long hours and juggle too much at once.

What are the main symptoms of burn out? 

• Physical and emotional exhaustion
• Anger
• Irritability
• Feelings of inefficiency 

Psychology Today also addresses the stigma that only bad parents experience burnout. This is not the case. The challenges and demands of being a mother, regardless of how well you manage them, can lead to burnout. 

How can you manage parenting burnout? 

Recognise when things are going well

Clinical Psychologist Jessica Flannery and Professor Leslie E. Roos recommend that parents need to be able to notice when things are going well, and when kids are behaving well. Praising these moments will make the home environment a lot lighter. Praising themselves will also go a long way in helping moms focus their energies on positive things. 

You and the family are still healthy, the house has not burnt out and the kids are still smiling? Then you are doing a pretty good job. 

Also Read: Strategies for parents to survive lockdown

Learn to move on

During a time such as this, perfectionism in parenting does not exist. So Flannery and Roos suggest that parents should “reset and move on”. Even outbursts are pretty normal during this time. So rather, than beating yourself up about it, just move on. 

Practice self-care

Yes, this is that cliche that you hear every day. 

“I’m either grumpy or yelling at my kids all day long, despite my efforts to stop nagging. I even resent people who tell me to practice self-care. It feels like another burden,” one mom shares.

Self-care does not only have to be a long bubble bath and a day to yourself. The five minutes that you can squeeze in for yourself can make the world’s difference.

Mommy Blogger 5 Hearts and a Mom shares: “I wake up first most times and enjoy my little moments while it’s quiet in the house.”

Having time for yourself makes you resent facing the day head-on and making time for everybody else.

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