Lust is blind: Three signs you are dating a psychopath

Gone are the days of meeting a nice boy at church. These days people meet under the most interesting circumstances leaving a wide gap for psychos to go under the radar unnoticed, for longer than they should.  

In a world where it’s the norm rather than the exception to meet a partner on a dating app, or strike up a conversation with your gym crush, it’s more important than ever to ‘verfiy a potential boyfriend’s sanity’.

It’s one thing to chat with an unknown person online when they have time to rethink every word they are saying, plus you are unable to read their facial expressions and body language, not to mention being blinded by your gym crush’s sweaty shoulders and biceps.

You need to take a step back and revaluate the personality you are interacting with.

It’s one thing to hang out with someone an hour or two every other day as it is very easy to hide ‘toxic qualities’ and only put your best foot forward during such short burst of time.

It is a whole other ball game when you start spending more frequent, longer periods of time with someone. This is when the ‘cracks’ start showing in the plaster and you get a sense of what you are really dealing with.  

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What is a psychopath really?

According to a Manhattan therapist, Kelly Scott, people use the word ‘psychopath’ colloquially to describe a person whose behaviour defies social norms and conventional understanding of right and wrong.

She explains that the word ‘psychopath’ doesn’t mean anything from a clinical perspective. Speaking to Insider, the therapist said the closest diagnosis that reflects the stereotypical representation of psychopaths in popular culture is antisocial personality disorder (ASPD).

Mayo Clinic describes ASPD as a mental disorder that causes people not to have any regard for right or wrong, empathy, or the well-being of other people.

People with ASPD are incredibly charismatic and good at faking empathy, which is why they often make unhealthy or toxic partners in a relationship.

Signs that you may be dating a psychopath or someone with ASPD:

 They are harmful to others without remorse.

Mayo Clinic lists one of the primary symptoms of ASPD as lacking a sense of morality and having no problem harming people financially, emotionally and even physically if it means they get something out of it.

They don’t seem to have many, if any friends of their own

According to a Psychology Today article, people with ASPD have problems sustaining healthy, satisfying relationships, which is why they tend to seek positions where they can work over, rather than besides colleagues.

They also don’t get along well with others because of their self-focus.

ALSO SEE: How therapy is becoming the latest make-or-break dating demand

They only do things for personal gain

Someone with this disorder acts solely for personal gain, which can mean exploiting the people around them. This behaviour can manifest in lying, stealing and other harmful practices against their partner

*Compiled by Xanet Scheepers