Five tips from a sexual wellness coach to spice up your sex life

Sex does not have to be boring. There are tons of ways to spice it up between the sheets says sexual wellness coach Lindiwe Rasekoala.

Number one, she said, is to know your body. “Know yourself so well that you know exactly what turns you on, what stimulates you, and what gets you ticking, so that you can communicate that when someone else is involved.”

Also, don’t be afraid of trying new things. Rasekoala says having sex in different places or introducing toys into bed-play can heighten adrenaline and excitement. “After all, that is what good sex is all about.”

But choosing the right toy is also important. And both sexes must make careful, practical and sexy selections. “You must decide which body part to stimulate and then buy the toy that fulfils it,” says Rasekoala. She says a popular choice for men is a vibrating penis ring, a device that does not restrict your blood flow but provides an additional tingling sensation that heightens any kind of sensual experience.

When it comes to women, Rasekoala says they need to decide what they like. “Do you like clitoral stimulation or do you enjoy penetration more? Or do you like both because there are toys that cater to both needs.”

She adds that women should figure out what they like by masturbating first and identifying what makes you or brings you to orgasm. And then look at something small that fits into your handbag. “If you’re looking at acquiring a dildo, get something that’s not too big but more human-like in size, because I know there are quite big ones, but something that’s more realistic so that you can enjoy the feeling,” she said.

Music also plays an important role and Rasekoala says depending on your choice, it could be a fantastic tool for seduction and a great soundtrack to making love. “The music can be anything, good, slow R&B, jazz and so on. It just depends on what makes you feel the sexiest. Listen to more of that and play it whilst you’re having sex,” she advises.

ALSO READ: Dry humping can give you an orgasm

Rasekoala says pushing the envelope can have a very positive outcome for a couple’s sex life, adding that inviting a third party into the bedroom may ignite sensual passion like never before.

“Gender permutations in terms of the ‘plus-one’ are varied, and couples should communicate beforehand on preferences and lay down the ground rules before engaging in three-play,” she says.

And while the idea is super-sexy, Rasekoala says while many people think they won’t be able to do it, sometimes the thrill of it all is what will actually get you more sexually aroused.

“If there’s a lot of trust between partners, if you are doing it with a partner or even if you’re the third party that’s being invited, consider the others who are in the room, but also have a good time because more hands are better than one,” she concludes.