Bottom line: The 5 golden rules to pleasurable anal sex

It’s becoming one of the biggest sexual trends of the 2020-somethings, and yet anal sex remains taboo, with few admitting to the practice.

The most recent survey in in South Africa by Ratepop, five years ago, showed that 66% of South African women and 41% of men claimed no interest in the matter.

A survey in the United Kingdom at the same time showed that around the same percentage that did not want bum-play in South Africa admitted to indulging in it at least once in their lives.

Last year, a survey showed that 68% of younger lovers have tried anal sex at least once.

But anal play’s popularity is growing, and it’s not just about penetration.

Anal-oral and other forms of anal pleasure giving are on the rise. This is evident in the results of another survey where more people admitted to butt-play than intercourse from behind.

The Journal of Sexual Health reported 14% of couples admitted to anal sex, but 30% of them noted anal play as part of their bedroom antics.

Men have a prostate, a primary reason for finger exploration by couples during oral.

But penetration by heterosexual couples of the male partner, with toys, is also no longer out of bounds.

Oral stimulation of the anus is equally enticing and toys, like butt plugs and anal dildos, are enjoying brisk sales according to a few adult store owners in Johannesburg.

While anal play is not for everyone, there are a few golden rules to consider before embarking on this journey.

Communication is key 

Communicate with your partner and establish what they would like, and whether anal play is even a notion under consideration.

Simply slipping a finger or a tongue into the back door may abruptly end a love-making session, while penetration could become an unexpected passion killer.

ALSO READ: 7 Kinky sex tips you and your partner should try

Start slowly

The anus is a very sensitive area, and jumping in at the deep end of anal can be painful and result in a permanent turn off.

Start with some finger and tongue play, slowly graduating to penetration. Have a safe word, or slowly move your partner away when it becomes uncomfortable. Check in with one another all the time.

Lube and hygiene equals safety

The skin is much thinner around the anal area and there are a lot of nerve endings, said WebMD in an article dissecting the wellness care that bum-play requires.

Lubrication, even for fingering, is essential. So too is general cleanliness and hygiene. Do not engage in vaginal sex right after going in from behind. Anal bacteria can be dangerous and cause infection.

Use toys

Be gentle and explore your partner’s derriere with carefully selected toys chosen, together.

Communicate the whole time while also using your hands to stimulate your lover’s clitoris or penis, and keep the enticing excitement going.

Don’t forget that vaginal exploration with a dildo or vibrator may also add some extra zing and create the sensation of double-penetration.

Backdoor beginner positions

Control of penetration and speed is important, otherwise it may land up being an uncomfortable and painful exercise.

Glamour magazine’s tips for backdoor beginners recommends that the penetrated partner remain on top for optimal lust management or, alternatively, spooning could provide the same pleasure-and-safety-net experience.