For adults only: 5 tips to keep your head in the game (in the bedroom)

WARNING: CONTENT OF AN ADULT NATURE

From navigating sexual consent to sending safe nudes and erection-free sex – we all have so many questions about intercourse and intimacy that we still want to know but are too afraid to ask.

This candid book, Quirky Quick Guide to Having Great Sex, by Tiffany Kagure Mugo will answer your burning questions and tell you all you need to know, in clear and accessible bite-sized bits.

In an excerpt from her book, Mugo says: “Sucking dick is an art, and like any good art it’s part talent and part practice. It may look easy as pie but there are a few things to think about before you slap your lips on that penis. Sometimes these things can be tricky but I’m here to give you the low down about going down.”

Although the book only hits shelves on 17 July, The Citizen went deep (see what we did there?) to get access to five eye-opening and titillating juicy tips from the author on How not to blow the job when giving good head.

DON’T FORGET FOREPLAY 

“Foreplay is your friend. It’s that friend who day drinks with you and calls you after a breakup. It’s a great way of setting up the mood and getting all involved to peak arousal. A lot of the time foreplay is left out of the mix but it is a great way of leading up to penetrative sex. Some of the greatest orgasms are born and raised in the Land of Foreplay. However, so much pressure is placed on penetrative sex that we forget the slew of alternative sources of pleasure.

READ: Breathe and relax – tips for good oral sex

NO NEED TO HURRY

“Take the advice of every R&B song from the 90s and don’t rush. Giving head can be exciting, getting it even more so but there is no need to just jump right in. You know when you have a great meal in front of you and you take that first bite and are like ‘mmmmmmm’ and start mumbling about compliments to the chef? Apply that same script here. Take your time and go slow. Taste. Explore. Tease. Make people tremble.”

KEEP YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME

“Get your head in the head game. The age-old wisdom is that ‘those who give the best head are those who do it with focus’. Give head like you are a special operative on a nation-saving mission. Go down there with all the confidence in the world and do the thing. None of this ‘What should I do? Should I…’ nonsense. Go in trusting your skillset and knowing you are sucking dick like a champ.”

ALSO READ: Weird smell coming from ‘down there’? It’s totally normal

ARE YOU A DICK WHISPERER?

“Communication during sex is key but we cannot always use our words, especially in times of extreme pleasure. If your partner still has the power of speech, listen to the instructions that are coming from them and give them the pleasure they want. If you are a dick whisperer then you can speak its language when it tells you what’s good. But if you are not, look out for a couple of signs such as throbbing … Read the Tweets the dick is sending out and feed off that.

SPIT OR SWALLOW? YOUR CHOICE

“Sex is always about consent and this goes for all aspects and acts within it. Saying you’ll give someone head does not mean you consent to all aspects of that and that includes swallowing. Some people don’t like the texture, not everyone likes the taste. You do not have to let someone cum in your mouth nor have to swallow what comes out. You are not a failure/rude/prudish if you don’t. Do not be shamed into doing it. Have some tissues or somewhere to put what you don’t want inside your belly. Blow jobs are not purely about making someone cum – they’re about creating pleasure for everybody involved.”

READ NEXT: 3 tips to make the o-o-orgasm last longer

Tiffany Kagure Mugo, author of Quirky Quick Guide to Having Great Sex

About The Author

Tiffany Kagure Mugo is co-founder & curator of HOLAA! a Pan-African hub that advocates for, & tackles issues surrounding African female sexuality. She is a TED speaker, host of the radio show Between the Sheets on TransAfrica Radio. She has written for numerous anthologies & contributes to spaces speaking about sex and politics. She is based in Johannesburg.

(Compiled By Hayden Horner)

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