Findoms: Blending money and sexuality

In the 21st century, everything is for sale. Even intimacy is being hammered on the auction block.

Economics has entered sexuality beyond the world’s oldest profession. Financial domination, or findom for short, has turned whips and handcuffs into swiping and bank transfers.

It is a growing trend, in part thanks to social media, that takes traditional notions of control and submission and puts a price tag on them, with dominants or findoms commanding financial tributes from their submissives, who are dubbed paypigs.

Platforms like OnlyFans, LoyalFans, Sexpanther, TikTok, and X have made it easier than ever for dominants and submissives to connect and transact.

Sex educator Lisa Welsh of Save That Spark noted that these digital spaces allow findoms to craft their personas while maintaining a level of anonymity that protects both sides.

“Digital technology has turned findom into a global phenomenon,” she said.

Payment apps and secure messaging platforms further streamline the process, removing logistical hurdles and allowing for effortless exchanges. It’s also more accessible for curious participants.

It’s become a global phenomenon

“Financial surrender is one of the most tangible forms of power exchange,” Welsh said.

“It symbolises the submissive’s relinquishment of control, creating a powerful psychological release.”

For someone used to being in control like a high-powered executive or decision-maker, the act of financial submission can feel liberating. It’s a chance to let go, even if it’s for a moment.

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Psychologist Dr Jonathan Redelinghuys said that this dynamic clearly shows how intertwined power and vulnerability are in human connections.

“Financial submission offers some individuals a paradoxical sense of empowerment through surrender,“ he noted. “It reflects the complexity of modern relationships, where control and trust intersect in unexpected ways.”

The money isn’t just cash; it’s symbolic, representing trust, vulnerability, and, perhaps ironically, empowerment, said Welsh.

But it’s a two-way party.

“Findoms gain satisfaction from the affirmation of their authority,” she said. Whether that’s through financial draining, where a submissive repeatedly sends money or other structured rituals, the dynamic reinforces a sense of power. And it’s not always overtly sexual, she said.

The power is in what’s withheld

Many findoms operate anonymously, projecting alluring personas that command respect and tributes without ever revealing their identities or engaging in explicit acts.

“The power lies not in what’s shown but in what’s withheld,” Welsh noted.

Dr Redelinghuys suggested that the roots of a findom’s desire to dominate might stem from a combination of personal empowerment and psychological reinforcement.

“For some, the act of asserting financial control may serve as a way to reclaim agency in areas of their lives where they feel powerless,” he said.

“The dynamic can also be deeply validating, as the submissive’s compliance reinforces their sense of influence and authority.”

But as with any arrangement involving money and power, there are risks.

Welsh warned that without clear boundaries, findom can quickly become exploitative.

“Red flags include dominants who push for more than agreed upon or submissives who attempt to manipulate dominants,” she said.

Trust is critical. In ethical findom relationships, both parties agree on financial limits upfront, ensuring the submissive isn’t driven into financial distress.

“It’s about creating a connection where both parties feel valued in their roles,” Welsh added.

That connection, though transactional on the surface, often runs deeper than people might expect.

Conversely, Welsh said, findoms must walk a thin line.

Successful dominants invest a lot of time in understanding their submissives’ motivations and tailoring their approach to meet those needs.

Whether it’s through carefully curated rituals, specific financial demands, or a particular persona that can be strict, playful, or nurturing, the best findoms know how to push the right psychological buttons.

“It’s a creative process,” Welsh said, one that blends performance with genuine connection.

Growing number of players

There are a growing number of findoms and potential paypigs advertising their services and wants online. And in South Africa it’s no different.

Channels like Reddit are filled to the brim with conversations on the same.

Akin to other popular forms of income in sexual lifestyle, like OnlyFans subscription profiles, a lot of naughty-preneurs are heading to findom.

Success in the business of dominance or submission has its rules. “Authenticity is key for dominants,” said Welsh.

“Findoms must develop a persona that aligns with their strengths, whether nurturing, commanding, or faceless, and focus on building ethical connections.

“Submissives should reflect on their motivations, set financial limits, and seek dominants who respect their boundaries.

“For both, education, open communication, and mutual trust are essential to exploring findom safely and confidently.”

Dr Redelinghuys said that findom forms part of a broader global sexual awakening where traditional taboos are being redefined.

“Fetishism like findom reflects the diversity of human desires and the search for deeper psychological fulfilment,” he said.

Dr Redelinghuys emphasised the importance of open communication and ethical practices, saying: “In this growing space, understanding and accountability are vital for maintaining healthy dynamics.”

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