Xolani Mthombeni, better known to radio fans as DJ Xtremme, is looking forward to sitting on his couch, a home-cooked meal and any gift he receives from his son on Father’s Day.
The day for DJ Xtremme means getting up early, starting his day off with radio work as his show falls on Sunday. As soon as he gets back from work, he will be excited to see the card he “accidentally” saw hidden away at home which his son made for him at school and all sorts of interesting treats.
His advice to other dads on Father’s Day is that “we must change the negative narrative and stigma of fathers being absent from their children’s lives and children growing up not knowing their fathers. I know it isn’t easy, especially for young dads, but please never ever be absent from your child’s upbringing. Find a way to always be there.”
DJ Xtremme answered our dad questions and had this to say about his fatherhood journey
Being a dad is… endless smiles from your child as they look up to you, wanting to be just like you. It also involves being a good role model, being understanding and having lots of energy. It may get challenging, as you are responsible for another life financially, emotionally and physically. For the most part, being a dad is heart-warming, beautiful and a blessing.
The last time I laughed was when my boy… came home with a painted picture from school which had three very odd looking people in it. His mother was there, in the middle clearly was him as he was the shortest of all the three, I however didn’t understand who the person next to them was, he had a very big, bald head, small ears and the biggest eyes…turns out that was me!
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My advice to other dads would be… your child doesn’t see how much money you have in your bank account. They don’t see the CEO, doctor or whatever title you may hold. The first thing they see when they look at you is your smile and they want to feel your love and support. Show that to them always, no matter what. Those are the moments they will cherish the most.
My favourite part about being a dad is… seeing my son grow and discover the world and all it has to offer one day at a time with me right by his side to guide him but also allow him to be himself, always.
The biggest challenge is… as my son gets older, I’m learning that he has his own views. He’s now interacting with other kids from different upbringings and I sometimes find it hard to let go and want to protect him from the world but I know I have to allow him to learn, grow and be exposed to what’s out there as he lives his own life.
My success as a parent is measured by… the quality of my relationship with my son. I want to be able to say I gave my son all that I could, knowing I fully supported his dreams and appreciated his existence while understanding he is his own person. He will need guidance and most importantly need a father figure.
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The most important affirmation I say to my child is… always stay true to who you are and where you come from, don’t ever allow the world to change you.
The most important behaviour/attitude I mirror for my child is… confidence. Even when in doubt, always have that confidence in knowing that you will figure it out. Sometimes it’s good to colour outside of the lines and not follow the norm.
My work-life balance as a working dad is… my radio shows and gigs mainly take place on weekends. On weekdays, however, I am at home doing company work so I still get to pick my son up from school and drop him off every day. I am doing grade 1 Maths homework and trust me, being on radio is easier!