Musician, wife and mom Phumeza Mdabe shares a glimpse of her parenting journey, including her cancer journey with her son, Mpilo. Her daughter just recently turned 14 and she was proud of her as she shared on Instagram that “she has a beautiful heart!”
Being a mom is …. the best thing that has ever happened to me.
The last time I gagged because of my kid was when he/she … was when Mpilo learnt to ride a bicycle and then proceeded to go ride it in the street relying on me to tell him when to stop. I can’t imagine that kind of fearlessness. Not physically seeing where you are going but trust me enough to not get hurt.
The last time I cried was when… Mpilo took out his prosthetic eye because he was curious what it was. Brought back all the memories of going through his cancer journey.
My advice to other moms would be… do what feels right to you in raising your child/children. You will always get advice from more ‘experienced’ moms but take what works for you. Never think you are doing something wrong if it doesn’t fall under the ‘norm’ of raising children.
My favourite part about being a mom is… at the moment, seeing my daughter grow into a young woman. She turns 14 in October. Seeing how kind she is, compassionate, humble, so loving. I think to myself, I have someone who will always be kind when myself and her dad are no longer here. She will be the glue that holds herself and siblings together.
The biggest challenge is… fighting to be a better person all round because I know my children are a reflection of me. All the habits I don’t like, like procrastination, inconsistency in some things I do, they are watching and will mimic. So every day I try to work on these things which are not easy.
My biggest mom guilt is when… I can’t provide for my kids like I would like to. So, I’m working harder.
My success as a parent is measured by… how my kids will handle their lives after I’m gone. Will they continue to respect other people? Will they uphold the morals and values that we taught them when we were still here? Will they respect our culture and continue when they no longer have a physical parent they can see if they have disappointed or not? I believe you only ever see the fruits of your labour after you’re gone as a parent. That’s when the real lessons learnt show.
The most important affirmation I say to my child is… I am beautiful. I matter. I am smart. I am brave.
The most important behaviour/attitude I mirror for my child is…To always be positive no matter what. No matter how I’m feeling, If I’m feeling down, I get up, take a shower and do something that will bring my spirits back up. No pity parties at our house.
My work-life balance as a working mum is… is hard because I’m a freelancer. Sometimes I have time to spend and then when it gets busy, it’s evident and the kids start complaining. When that happens it’s a lot of video calling and doing meaningful things during time available when one would be taking time out for themselves. Definitely a sacrifice I do with my eyes closed.