Empowering fatherless boys: Mentorship program and the role of MENtors

We often share stories about the wisdom our fathers passed down to us; stories that add values and timeless principles to our lives.

Involved and positive fathers serve as coaches and motivators, inspiring their children to set goals and cultivate resilience when faced with challenges.

In today’s world of dual-working parents, fathers have transcended the role of sole breadwinners, allowing them to contribute more actively to childcare and nurturing.

Engaged fathers tend to develop stronger emotional connections and deeper relationships with their children.

This leads to a more rewarding parenting experience, and children benefit greatly from their father’s consistent love and attention, which has long-lasting positive effects.

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Significance of Father’s Day

According to Jaco van Schalkwyk, founder and director of The Character Company (TCC), South Africa faces a significant challenge in fatherhood, which is closely linked to the country’s alarming rates of gender-based violence.

It is estimated that approximately 70% of South African children are raised in single-parent households, with four out of five boys lacking positive male role models in their lives.

Van Schalkwyk says: “This Father’s Day it is important to celebrate all the amazing involved dads in South Africa, as well as to recognise that we are a society where broken masculinity is, unfortunately, prevalent across our communities. 

“Growing up without a healthy connection to a positive father or male role model has a staggering impact on too many of our boys. Fathers play an important role in helping their sons navigate masculinity and gender identity. 

“Sons can learn emotional intelligence from their fathers and how to properly regulate themselves and constructively express their emotions. 

“Direct exposure to adult men who act as wise guides can help growing boys develop a healthy sense of identity,” elaborated Van Schalkwyk.

Vulnerabilities faced by fatherless boys

Research also shows that fatherless boys may be more vulnerable to:

• Fear of abandonment and sense of loss
• Sadness, anxiety and depression
• Poor social connections and relationship-building skills
• Behavioural issues
• Poor academic performance
• Substance abuse
• Exposure to crime and gangsterism

Van Schalkwyk also states that many of these impacts will change the course of a boy’s life, and the psychological effects may last a lifetime.

“The cards are stacked against a fatherless boy. Of course, not all of them will underachieve or take a wrong path to adulthood. 

“There are many boys raised by single mothers who will turn out well and will one day become positive parents themselves despite the lack of a father’s love and involvement.

“But others will, unfortunately, perpetuate the generational cycles of broken masculinity,” he said.

The role of MENtors

TCC utilises the strength and dedication of male volunteers to implement an engaging mentorship program that matches fatherless boys with MENtors.

Presently, 55 carefully-screened adult male volunteers are assigned to 250 boys across the country. The program emphasises outdoor activities, fostering physical fitness, life skills, and a healthy lifestyle.

Through this approach, the boys gain valuable insights into living a life guided by strong values and are able to navigate challenges and address important issues with the support and guidance of responsible adult men within safe and supportive environments.

“The programme provides vital opportunities for boys to learn from men – about positive masculinity and the contributions of men to society. 

“The programme’s strong values set high expectations and provide secure boundaries where the boys can gain skills, practice self-regulation and work towards self-mastery. 

“In the absence of fathers in their lives, this chance to develop meaningful relationships with TCC MENtors empowers them by providing caring contact with male role models who are emotionally intelligent, consistent in their actions and true to their commitments. 

“Our TCC MENtors step up and be part of ‘the villages’ that we need to raise all our children well. For South African men looking to make a difference to our country, getting involved in supporting and mentoring fatherless boys is a gift that is going to last a lifetime.

“They will never be forgotten by these boys.  Even though they won’t be able to tell stories about what they learnt from their fathers, they will still have a heartfelt story to tell about what they learnt from their MENtor,” said Van Schalkwyk.

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