‘Decoding Body Language’: The ultimate guide to understanding non-verbal communication [VIDEO]

If a picture speaks a thousand words, body language is the encyclopaedia of communication. The body doesn’t lie, despite where your mouth ventures.

This is the basis of body language expert David Allen’s book Decoding Body Language. Allen trains companies and law enforcement worldwide in the art of physical communication.

The book is like a hitchhiker’s guide to human behaviour and, in a sense, a manual to aid you in yours.

“People categorise others within the first 30 seconds of meeting them,” Allen said. “You’re either in their friendship zone, seen as a threat, ignored entirely or remembered for all the wrong reasons.”

That snap judgment, Allen explained, is often driven by non-verbal cues rather than what is said.

These cues fill the conversational pages. From learning the basics of body language to how to read the room, leave powerful impressions behind, smile, and even identify a lie, the book includes body language for bouncers and law enforcement and a guide on how to read what kids communicate with their bodies.

🗣️Want to know if someone’s lying? Watch Allan’s tips here:

Own your space: Body language can boost your power and presence

Body language is all about the space we create around our bodies. According to Allen, the way a person occupies that space speaks volumes. “Take up more space,” he said. “If you’re nervous, you tend to shrink, crossing arms, tucking in shoulders, or looking down. But if you sit upright, shoulders back, and plant yourself with intention, you immediately feel more powerful.”

This physical presence is particularly important in professional settings. “Most people want to blend in, but even dressing slightly smarter than the occasion demands makes you stand out. You become the person people look at,” he said. “I tell people: go one level up. It’s not about being overdressed, for example; it’s about commanding respect.”

🫱🏻‍🫲🏻Master the handshake to command respect and build rapport

A handshake, often dismissed as a formality, is also a key part of forming first impressions. “A weak handshake tells people you lack confidence, while an overly aggressive grip can be seen as trying too hard,” Allen explained.

“A power handshake, where your palm is slightly on top, establishes dominance. Politicians know this trick well. Donald Trump, for example, would pull people in during handshakes, controlling the moment entirely.”

Allen noted that physical touch can also build rapport when used correctly. He said that lightly touching people’s hands or arms when speaking communicates control and warmth.

👋🏻Your body speaks: How small movements reveal big thoughts

Body parts subconsciously betray thoughts. “Your feet never lie,” Allen said. “If someone’s feet are pointed towards the door, their mind is already halfway out of the conversation. If they’re locked onto you, they’re engaged.”

Hand gestures play a critical role in credibility. “Open palms suggest honesty, whereas closed fists or hidden hands indicate discomfort or deception,” he said. “If I tell you where the bathroom is, and I do it with an open hand, it seems friendly. If I point aggressively, it changes the entire tone.”

Even small details, like the direction of a head tilt, matter. “If you slightly tilt your head when listening, it signals interest. Good interviewers use it to encourage people to open up.”

When someone is nervous or lying, their body often gives it away, too. “Uncomfortable people tend to create physical barriers. They’ll hold onto objects, step back, or suddenly touch their face,” he said. “A classic giveaway is excessive lip-licking or drinking water because when the body’s stressed, the mouth dries up.”

📖A practical guide to powerful, proven tactics

Decoding Body Language is more than just a self-help book or another guide to positive thinking. Allen’s work has impressive forewords and endorsements, from a recommendation by author Neale Godfrey to senior members of the South African Police Service and the United States Department of Justice in New Jersey.

This practical book cuts out the nonsense and provides real, implementable tactics. Once you start using just the basics, it is incredible how effective they can be. Above all, it is utterly fascinating.

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