COLUMN: Conversations with my daughter

I’ve always said that I am that type of mom that doesn’t enjoy infants. I’m an old soul and can genuinely admit that I’m awkward when it comes to infants. Hell, I can’t even play with them or do that cute baby talk thing. Now give me toddlers and young children and I’m definitely in my element because I absolutely love the stage when their personality starts to shine through. My eight-year-old daughter Ewetse has been a source of great amusement for me as she grows more and more into her interesting and colorful personality. While she’s genuinely grappling with the world and its stuff, I on the other hand, have thoroughly enjoyed having a front row seat to all the funny and interesting things she says as she’s discovering herself and the world around her. Here are some of our eleven most interesting conversations – they’re funny, and they’re all true!

One

Her: Mom do you think my shoes are different?

Me: No

Her: Ok, Phew thank goodness!

Two

Her: Ma, What is that thing about the markets on the news?

Me: It’s called a market update and compares world money or  world currencies.

Her: Is that necessary?

Three

Me: Ewetse why would you be so naughty when I told you not to do that! Who do you think you are?! O nagana o so mang?! (who do you think you are)

Her: Ma … ke nna Ewetse (it’s me Ewetse)

Me: Lol!I wasn’t asking you your name!

Four

Her: Is that the Durban July on tv?

Me: I don’t know

Her: Ya but it can’t be the Durban July because that happens in July. That’s why it’s the Durban July.

Me: Oh ok, good point!

Five

Her: aaah !!!

Me: What!!?

Her: I had some antibiotic on my finger and I accidentally licked it!! ????

Six

Her: Why are you putting castor oil on your hair?

Me: Because it’s gonna make it grow.

Her: Phew! at least it’s not for my stomach!

Seven

Her: Mom, I was scratching an itch at the back of my ear and I accidentally dropped my earring in the toilet while I was flushing.

Me: And then?

Her: And then I didn’t see it again.

Her: At least I still have it’s butterfly

Her: It’s a weird story I know. But it happened.

Me: Wow.

Eight

Her: Mom, I might be a little busy.

Me: Doing what?

Her: I’m gonna try building a career path for my self using the internet.

Nine

Her: Ma

Me: Huh?

Her:You know if I was to make a video online of me making slime, I would only show my hands…

Her: Yes I would only show my hands.

Me: I wouldn’t let you post a video online of yourself anyway. You’re too young to be filming yourself for the internet.

Ten

Her: Mom

Me: What?

Her: Something keeps biting me while I’m trying to sleep *side eyes tv*

Me: Oh?

Her: Yes, it keeps biting me and it hurts *Still side eyeing tv*

Me: Well try to find it then. There’s nothing else we can do.

Her: Oh ok then. Goodnight. *Slowly walks back to bed*

Me: Goodnight.Again.

*under my breath * …bedtime delay averted

Eleven

Her: Mom, my baby brother has a dimple!

Me: Yes he does.

Her: Why don’t I have a dimple?

Me: I don’t know. Only God knows.

Her: *Blinks*

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