5 signs you’re not ready for marriage

Marriage is one of life’s biggest milestones, and heading down the aisle shouldn’t be taken lightly. The bond of marriage is meant to be a lifelong commitment, and this partnership seals the two of you together legally and, in many ways, financially.

Many comedians joke about divorce and the spouse ‘getting half’. Unless there is a prenuptial agreement, this is, for the most part, quite true. The two of you are a unit, and technically should share things 50/50. For this reason, couples need to be emotionally and financially prepared for the realities and expectations of the matrimonial plunge. After the blissful ceremony and romantic honeymoon concludes, the reality of marriage begins.

While couples may feel they are ready to take the next step into marriage, every individual is different and ‘ready’ for marriage at different times of their life. Some couples are married out of high school and stay together until they take their last breath. Others may wait until they are much older to seal the vows.

There isn’t a perfect checklist to guarantee that you are ready for marriage, but there are a few red lights that might signal you’re saying “I do” for the wrong reasons.

1. You’re afraid to be alone

No one wants to be alone, but that isn’t a reason to slip a ring on someone’s finger and promise forever. Marriage should be about love and partnership; the vows and the promises should not be used because you’re scared of being solo. The Power of Positivity points out that being single may actually be a good thing.

Marry for love, not fear.

2. You want to be supported

Yes, your spouse should support you emotionally. Financial support, however, shouldn’t be an expectation unless this is something that both of you have discussed. Some couples value traditional roles – where one spouse stays home and the other works. But no man or woman should be expected to assume either role.

Don’t ever go into your vows assuming that he or she will support you financially. Make sure each individual’s role is understood before the wedding.

3. You’re in Vegas

Sure, Britney Spears married her childhood friend in Vegas. And there are stories galore of elopements in Vegas. But don’t get so crazy in Vegas that you don’t remember exchanging vows, or that you can’t make rational decisions.

What happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas, and drunken vows can result in lawyer’s fees for an annulment.

4. You have doubts … serious doubts

Everyone gets cold feet before the marriage day. Jitters are normal, but if the jitters feel more like soul stopping fear, you need to take a step back. No, this doesn’t mean cancel the wedding. If you’re having serious doubts, step back and ask yourself ‘why?’

Write down a list of fears or worries. Figure out what’s bothering you and talk to your partner. This also may be the ideal time to enlist a premarital counsellor. Address the issues, though, before you say “I do”.

5. You still feel the need to ‘sow your wild oats’

Once you get married, the ability to court other potential mates is generally frowned upon (unless you have an open marriage). If you still feel like you want to date around, you might not be ready to make a lifelong commitment.

Marriage is based on trust and, typically, fidelity. Do yourself and your partner a favour and open up about any potential doubts that may be lingering.

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