Warning: Content of an adult nature
The magical thing about sex is that there are so many things that you can do in bed and so many hot spots to explore. Some involve penetration and some don’t and focusing too much on the ones that do can have you missing a whole bunch of external ones.
There are people with a weakness for having their knees tickled, their neck kissed and even having boob orgasms. There is the inner thigh, the lower back, feet and even the fingers and ears. Every body part is a potential erogenous zone if stroked, kissed or licked right and you have no idea until you try.
You legitimately miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
Now, I will not lie to you, this takes time and sometimes you just want your orgasm now and taking time to explore can feel like a massive teasing session but it is well worth it to find different ways of getting turned on and orgasming.
One fun, sexy way of doing this includes mutual masturbation. Not only is it awesome to watch someone touching themselves but also it’s a great way of exploring your body with your partner – you can be your own instructional video.
Moving away from the cheat sheet that the G-spot provides means that you have to start thinking outside the box and finding out new things that work for you. This includes opening your mind up to things you might not have thought of, like butt stuff.
Outside of being smacked and grabbed, the butt is neglected. Try some butt stuff. From eating ass to tickling the entrance, to using (anal-safe) toys and other things back there. Or just go ol’ doggy style.
The thing is relying on one miracle spot to make all your orgasm dreams come true limits the range of ways that you can cum. Try branching out and trying new things like upping your foreplay game, figuring out how to orgasm through clitoral stimulation, have your partner become so good at eating you out that they can give seminars about it.
Branch out of the realms of standard penetration because sex is so much more.
But lastly, the G-spot has clearly worked for folks so do not give up the search just yet. It might not be a specific spot but some of the techniques can come in really handy, especially when it comes to the flexibility of fingers. Keep on looking and enjoy the journey, some folks are still swearing by it so it can’t be a complete farce.
About the author:
Tiffany Kagure Mugo is co-founder and curator of HOLAA! a Pan Africanist hub that chronicles and gives information about sex and sexuality in the African context. She is a media consultant, podcast host and author of the book Quirky Quick Guide to Having Great Sex, as well as a two time Ted speaker. She writes mainly about sex and sexuality and its lesser-known handmaiden, politics. She is on the board of the FRIDA Fund and was previously an Open Society Youth Fellow.