Neels van Jaarsveld, Op My Eish!'s own bachelor.
Actor Neels van Jaarsveld is searching for his dream girl in the reality show, Op My Eish! and on 8 July the contestants have their first individual dates with him.
Van Jaarsveld says the coronavirus pandemic has influenced his outlook on life, what he wants to do with his life, what his life is and also what a partner truly is. He says his ideal partner should have a kind heart and care for other people. He says you must find someone who will complement rather than complicate things.
Journalist and life coach Liezl Thom has been on the Op My Eish! journey with Van Jaarsveld from the start and says even though the reality programme is about finding true love, it is also about Neels getting to know himself better. If he doesn’t find his match at the end of the season, it would not have been for nothing, because he will still be a better man for it, with a better understanding of who he is and what he wants.
Liezl says as a journalist, she has seen too many lives fail. It was an interview with Martha Beck that inspired her to get certified as a Martha Beck life coach. She says: “When you are a life coach, your heart needs to be open for people.” She guided Neels through the reality show, asking questions that allowed him to understand himself and the situations better.
Liezl feels honoured to have the opportunity to work with Van Jaarsveld, as much as with any of her other clients and values the trust they put in her with their journeys.
She says the fact that Neels is a celebrity doesn’t make working with him different from working with anyone else, but that he is “super special.”
“In coaching there has to be a heart connection; trust. If there is not trust, the relationship won’t work. In my first session – as much as my clients judge if they can work with me – I see if I can work with them,” Liezl says.
“Other people’s trust is something I always value.”
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According to Liezl, Neels walked into the programme open minded – almost as if it were an experiment.
“Yes, his goal was to get a partner, but more than that it was to get to know himself better. To get to know aspects about himself that he wasn’t aware of. And, that is where a coach comes in.”
She says that she is not a relationship expert. She specialises in the relationship you have with yourself. “I asked him questions to make him think. Coaches don’t give advice. My work is to ask you questions to bring you to the truth.”
A combination of factors make up the perfect partner. The same goes for Van Jaarsveld. “In some aspects we want them to have the same values as us. In some aspects we want our partners to mirror us and in other aspects we want our partners to stretch us; to challenge us.”
Liezl says that shared values are important for Neels and that he is looking for someone who will support him. “He wants someone with whom he can just be himself.”
Op My Eish!’s contestants often wondered if Van Jaarsveld was acting or not, as he is an actor by profession. Still, he is looking for someone who will accept him for who he is when all the masks come off and he wanted everything to be real.
Thom says: “It was very real.” She believes that the story about how you meet does not necessarily define your future.
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