‘Mugabe’ quotes that will have you in stitches
In one of the quotes, 'Mugabe' addresses past rumours that have surfaced, claiming he had died.
Close up portrait of young African man laughing after reading a funny text message on his mobile phone. Picture: iStock
Apart from Donald Trump, Zimbabwe’s President Robert Mugabe is perhaps the most infamous straight talker, who will stop at nothing to express his thoughts.
If you take a close look at Facebook posts over these past few days, you’ll notice that people have been taking advantage of Mugabe’s character, creating memes of things they claim he has said. We’re neither denying nor confirming that they are indeed Mugabe’s quotes, we’re just having fun with them – because honestly, they are funny.
Apparently the fourth-longest-serving president in history has joined the anti-weave campaign, along with Hugh Masekela, who refuses to take pictures with women who have weaves – excluding Kuli Roberts. While Masekela thinks weaves are unAfrican, “Mugabe’s” problem is how one would go about bewitching such a woman.
1. It’s hard to bewitch African girls these days. Each time you take a piece from her hair to a witch doctor, either a Brazilian innocent woman gets mad or a factory in China catches fire.
2. Treat every part of your towel nicely because the part that wipes your buttocks today will wipe your face tomorrow.
3. I have died many times. I have actually beaten Jesus Christ because he only died once.
4. Welcome to Africa, where typing amen to a Pastor’s prayer on Facebook will save you from your village witches and make you a billionaire.
5. Dear sister, don’t be deceived by a man who texts you “I miss you” only when it’s raining. You are not an umbrella.
6. Sometimes you look back at girls you spent money on rather than sending it to your mom and you realise witchcraft is real.
7. When you kiss a girl from another nationality, do it well because you represent the whole country.
8. Neighbours will always say they saw the girl you brought home last night….. but they will never see the thief who stole at your place even during the day.
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