‘The way my parents raised me is so different from how I’m raising my kids…’ -Melanie Bala

Radio personality and mother Melanie Bala talks all things motherhood to Parenty.

Being a mom is …. the scariest thing I’ve ever done. There’s that saying about it being a job you’re hugely unqualified for and you can’t ever quit – that’s so true. It’s also the most exhilarating experience with lots of highs and lows – just when you think you have them figured out, they’ll switch up on you. 

The last time I gagged because of my kid was when they…were much younger and sick and I had to clean up projectile vomit off the kids, the bedding, the floor. Not my favorite thing to do. 

The last time I cried was when…we had to be tell the children about their grandfather’s passing. 

My advice to other moms would be…listen to your family and friends advice and tips on child rearing and then do your own thing. Seriously, it’s hard to find your parenting style when you’re a new mom and you get bombarded by people who mostly mean well. There’s some good stuff in there but at the end of the day, they’re your kids and you’re raising them. Do what works for your family. 

My favourite part about being a mom is…right now it’s making my kids laugh. They’re getting older and are starting to think I’m “uncool”. I know exactly what to do to get them to laugh and it’s hilarious watching them trying to hold out and then collapse into laughter. 

The biggest challenge is… wondering if I’m doing it right. Parenting as a whole. The way my parents raised me is so different from how I’m raising my kids and that’s driven by societal changes and the knowledge we have now, so I’m figuring it out as I go.  I’m sure my parents felt the same way. I guess we won’t really know if I nailed it for a few more years.

My biggest mom guilt is when…I no longer suffer  from mom guilt. I used to when they were really little, every time I had to work, or travel or just wanted a night off and it was all to my detriment. I was unhappy but thought “that’s what moms do – we sacrifice”. But that unhappiness built up and made me resentful towards motherhood. Now I realise every choice I make is inevitably driven by my children and wanting the best for them; and when I’m at my best, as a woman, as a mother – it will automatically filter down to them. 

My success as a parent is measured by…whether my children are kind, helpful, compassionate, and stand up for themselves & others, and do what’s right. 

The most important affirmation I say to my children is….you are loved. No matter what you do or say or how others may make you feel, know that you are loved. I may not like your behavior sometimes but I will always love you. I’m trying to make sure that they don’t seek that validation from the outside world. 

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The most important behaviour/attitude I mirror for my child is… tolerance and understanding. Why do people think or act the way they do? What drives them or informs their choices? Is it culture, religion, race, education or a myriad other things? When you approach the world wanting to understand it better, there’s less conflict in your life and it encourages curiosity. 

My work-life balance as a working mum is… often out of whack. I haven’t found the perfect balance still. Sometimes work takes precedence, other times family life. That’s how (my) life is. Nothing is ever perfectly balanced. 

I hate when other moms…. nothing. I’m not here for judgmental moms. I believe we’re all trying to do what’s best for our children. I may disagree with it but unless it’s harmful to those around you, do best!