Riky Rick’s last words: ‘I wish I was stronger, please forgive me’

In what was presumably meant to be private communication, recently deceased rapper Riky Rick left messages to each of his family members apologising and begging them not to blame themselves for the pain he was in.

The existence of the letter and its contents became public knowledge after a source close to the late rapper shared the contents of these notes with publication Sunday World who published the letter as their lead on Sunday.

In it, Riky is said to have addressed his wife Bianca and two children Jordan and Maik.

To Bianca:

“Dear Bianca, this pain is too much. I don’t want you to blame yourself for my life being unbearable. This was the greatest period of my life. You gave me more love than I deserved. Please do not blame yourself. Live your life. Don’t hide the light you gave me every day.

The pain I feel is too much to deal with. The voices in my head have never gone away. I wish I was stronger but I am not. Please forgive me. I love you so much. Be happy. Smile. Everything is okay now.”

To Maik:

“The other night Maik said he wants to be just like me. Not better in the sense of useless achievement, but better as in choosing the right path for his heart. Follow your passions, my son. Your world is bigger than anything you could ever imagine. I love you.”

To Jordan:

“Jordan, the best thing that ever happened in my life. You taught me so much about myself. Thank you for being so good to me. Thank you for being such an inspiration to me. I love you. I’m sorry.”

“Keep each other close. Love each other. Please don’t blame yourself. I cannot take the pain. I love you. “

Riky Rick died on Wednesday and is said to have taken his own life. Police have opened an inquest into the circumstances surrounding his passing, as they often do in the case of a death, however, police would not comment about the existence of a note.

ALSO READ: Riky Rick’s wife: Who is Bianca Naidoo?

Friends of the rapper took to social media hours after his death to speak about suicide, mental health and their own struggles with both.

This sparked a larger conversation about the mental health crisis, particularly among men.

There have also been a number of conversations in which people have shared their ideas for how best to honour Riky’s family and hold them up in love as they wade through their grief.

The late rapper’s funeral will take place at a private ceremony in Johannesburg on Tuesday, 1 March starting at 10am.

“The family have planned an intimate gathering for his send-off. The service will be live-streamed,” read a statement issued by his family.

Thereafter, a special tribute will take place on 4 March and is expected to be attended by close friends, family and selected media.

The tribute will also be live-streamed from 10am.