Ndileka Mandela: My ex-partner raped me

Joining a long list of women who have been raped is Ndileka Mandela, who recently took to social media to share an incident in which her partner, now ex, raped her.

In a lengthy Facebook post, Ndileka said her ex-boyfriend, who she did not name, was in her bedroom when she told him she was tired and wanted to sleep.

He left the room, and came back later when he would not take no for an answer.

“He did not listen‚ continued to kiss me while taking my underwear off. He kept both my arms pinned above my head as he penetrated me.

“I said no so many times. He kept thrusting over and over again and I started crying.

“He still would not stop until I promised him I would never refuse him sex ever again,” she wrote.

Ndileka said though she did not report the case, though she felt it was time for her to speak out.

“I’m giving a voice to scores of women who remain silent for fear of being judged by society. Rape knows no race, no social class. I encourage all who’ve had the same experience as I to find your voices and speak about it.  Acquaintance rape is very traumatic to deal with, at least in my eyes, as the man who does it to you is a person you know, a person who should listen when you say no,” she said.

She told TimesLive that she was following in her grandfather’s footsteps by speaking out.

Read her full post below:

August 9th 2012 is a day that will remain etched in my mind.

That is the day my — partner (ex‚ now) raped me.

Yes RAPED. A lot of men still think that rape between partners is a strange phenomenon.

The day started well until I had lunch with my partner about his finances or lack thereof.

In retrospect‚ I think the assault was a lesson for me to never question him again.

The conversation ended quite well or so I thought.

Later that evening when the security at the gate were buzzing my unit to find out if they should let him in‚ I said yes even when my gut told me not to (something I never do anymore‚ ignoring my gut).

He came up to my bedroom and I told him I was tired and wanted to sleep. He went down stairs … to watch a game with my son. He came up to bed later and started kissing me‚ I told him to stop as I was premenstrual and my breasts were tender and I just wanted to sleep.

He did not listen‚ continued to kiss me while taking my underwear off. He kept both my arms pinned above my head as he penetrated me.

I said no so many times. He kept thrusting over and over again and I started crying.

He still would not stop until I promised him I would never refuse him sex ever again. Being the stubborn person I can be when I’m right I kept refusing through my tears.

He only stopped when I began sobbing uncontrollably. I could not scream as I did not want my son to find me in that compromising position.

Yes I never reported for the same reason most women do not report what has been described acquaintance rape. I will not be silent. Rape knows no social class‚ colour or creed.”

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