I’ve been depressed for about fifteen years, says Khanyi Mbau

Proving once again why she has become such a mainstay on the South Africa entertainment scene, Khanyi Mbau has become one of the most talked-about guests on Podcast and Chill with MacG. 

This after hilariously detailing her time at Metro FM, her early days as a sugar baby during her highly publicised relationship with her first husband, Mandla Mthembu, and the depression that followed the events of that relationship. 

“I’ve been depressed for about 15 years now. I’m still dealing with it, I still get anxiety attacks and usually they’re very strong.”

Mbau said she only found out about this two years ago after having been diagnosed by a professional. 

According to Mbau, she also only recently accepted the fact that she was someone’s mother after having some very candid discussions with her daughter. A daughter she somewhat emotionally disconnected from during the height of her depression after having broken up with Mthembu. 

Mbau said she last saw him when her daughter was 8 months old and has not seen him since and has no idea if he is even still alive. She reportedly even wanted to help him rehabilitate his life at some point by supporting him financially but has been unable to find him. 

The conversation then turned to the backlash she still receives from having been married to Mthembu as many accuse her of glorifying transactional relationships with older men. 

Looking back at her life, Mbau stated that she had always been the type to date older men, even in high school. Though she dated fellow students, they always had to be a few grades ahead. 

“I always aim for power, you know what I’m saying? I think I’m power-hungry. I like power,” added Mbau. 

She theorised that this comes from her father’s perpetual state of being unimpressed with her achievements. Mbau shared how, no matter what she did or achieved, her father always thought she could have done better and said that this attitude persists even today. 

“I guess he’s doing it to not get us comfortable but it also creates a complex of ‘I’m not good enough, I still need to push more’ so it’s a double-edged sword.”

Mbau agreed that she and her siblings have “daddy issues” and said that she and her siblings were “broken.”

The entertainer added that she believed that was part of the reason why she fell for Mthembu, because she wanted a man who would adore her without requiring her to jump through all those hoops. 

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Mbau then told the tale of how she met Mthembu and how he courted her and wooed her for months on end. 

“I think from the moment he saw me, he started making me his project. The conversation was he knew every interview I did, every article that was ever written about me. He was literally impressing me by telling me facts about myself.”

The pair went on to go on regular breakfast dates for three months straight before Mthembu asked her out on an official dinner date, all while Mbau was seeing other people. 

“Dude, I’m seeing people. I’m young. I’m trending. I’m Doobsie… [what] the hell? I’m on TV,” joked Mbau. 

Mthembu then took Mbau shopping for a complete outfit for the date along with a new pair of shoes and he reportedly bought her as many shoes as she could carry that day. 

Later that evening, Mthembu took Mbau to his penthouse where he had hired a personal chef to cook for them. 

“I was now seeing a dark stallion, not just a dark guy,” added Mbau before detailing how impressed she was by it all. 

She hilariously recounted the first time they had sex, at her behest and joked that her daughter was conceived that day because it was that good. 

As he bathed her, Mthembu then promised her the world before actually delivering on his promise by having a new car dropped off for her at the SABC while she was at work on set at Muvhango. 

It wasn’t long before he expressed his intention to marry her by asking where to send the letter of his intention to marry her. 

Despite all of this, Mbau is adamant that she never loved him. However, she does believe she worshipped him. She believes that this was in part because they never had any real conversations – everything was about fashion, wealth, parties and other material things.

However, she said she started to see red flags when she was eight months pregnant and things started to get real. 

It was at that time that Mthembu started having an affair with Zodwa Wabantu. An affair that Mbau believes cemented Zodwa’s relationship with Mthembu, who was able to connect with her on the level that they were never able to connect on. 

Unfortunately, their relationship took a dark turn when Mthembu allegedly began beating her while she was still pregnant. 

“I’m pregnant, I’m needy, I have a problem with him coming home at four. I hear rumours that he’s cheating and every time I ask, he would beat me, kick me, throw me down the stairs. I’d be black and blue, I wouldn’t be able to see and he’d lock me in the house until I heal.”

This was against the backdrop of Mthembu quietly losing money behind the scenes through a variety of rash decisions. 

“I was then ‘wiling’ out and with my noise, I would then push him to the edge and he would start beating me. He threw me down the stairs and I went into labour and that is how my daughter was born. Because she was supposed to be born in Jan but she was then born in December,” explained Mbau. 

She said Mthembu did not take the break up well and began stalking her after she left him. 

He then changed tack and started trying to woo her with gifts. When she forgave him and went back, he beat her again and she left once again. 

“He became a monster and I had to run away from him.”

According to the star, by the time he had officially lost it all, she had already left him and began rebuilding her life away from him. 

It was during this time that she says she fell into a state of depression and says she started dating men for the sake of survival.

Watch the full interview below: 

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