I was so depressed I wanted to kill myself – Nonhle Thema

In a recent interview with Anele Mdoda, TV presenter, actress and producer Nonhle Thema recalled how her depression almost led to her death. Speaking to Mdoda about, among other things, her career mishaps and how the entertainment industry affected her personal life, Nonhle said she was never prepared for anything that happened in her life.

She said she spent most of her 20s working and trying to create what she regarded as success at the time, only to end up not having friends.

“I was a very lonely person, I was always working, I spent most of my 20s grinding. I never had friends, I never had a boyfriend, I was never able to have a boyfriend, my endorsements always restricted me from having a relationship. I was sad.”

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Though she admitted to being a lonely person, the final nail on the coffin for her was when her former Channel O boss and friend passed on.

“I suffered major depression. It was like he was my father. It took me years to grieve and heal, so that got me more than anything in my life, and his death was a shock to me because he helped me be who I am,” she said.

Living a lonely life, with no friends, a career that seemed to be spiralling out of control and a father figure having passed on, Nonhle said she could not handle it anymore and wanted to kill herself.

At the time, there was a hashtag #RestInPeaceNonhleThema trending on Twitter, so she went in to her room to try to end her life when her mother walked in and talked her out of it.

Nonhle said she was not ready for the fame that came with being the face of Channel O, as her only focus was doing what she loved – presenting.

“I was always pushed, and it was by accident. I never pushed for it, things always used to happen in my life. I never asked for fame, I just wanted to do what I love.”

However, though she was doing what she had always wanted, Nonhle said the life of fame turned her into a product and brand and far from being human. She said her fame and career had become her whole life, to a point where if anyone said anything bad about it, she would feel threatened.

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This is what led to her famous Twitter rants, which cost her a career and “a lot of money”, though she does not regret any of it.

“I lost a lot of money, it’s fine. I lost a lot of things, it’s fine. But you know what, I gained a lot of things, I gained who Nonhle really is.

“I am now a human being, and I am now humbled because I know life now. I know life is not living in America and interviewing 50c because there was a time when I thought that was life. That is not life.”