Can the public dictate how public figures mourn?

Opinions have been compared to rectums. That’s because everyone has one but some are more full of sh** than others and based on the reaction to how influencer Kefilwe Mabote chose to mourn the recent loss of her mother, I’m inclined to agree.

After making headlines in 2020 for being at the centre of a scandal caused by her ex-boyfriend’s business dealings, Mabote’s year ended on a sombre note as she had to say goodbye to her mother Matlhodi Dorothy Mabote.

Since confirming news of her mother’s passing, Mabote has been sharing never-before-seen images of various moments with her mother – who seemed to be just as fond of luxury living as her daughter, who ended up making a career out of that affinity for luxury.

Wednesday, the day of Mam’ Matlhodi’s burial was no different for Mabote, who gave her more than 1 million followers a glimpse into the day’s proceedings.

However, she has been criticised for the move and accused of turning her mother’s burial into content.

The criticism that she was met with is no different from that levelled against the likes of Lasizwe Dambuza and Khanyi Mbau when they lost their father or model Chrissy Teigen, who publicly shared images of the moments after she found out that she had miscarried a child.

Every single one of these moments have a common thread; the public does not feel the public figures in question are not mourning their losses correctly, so they criticise them for how they choose to grieve.

More often than not, it seems as though people believe public grieving is shameful and in these instances, it would take on a more dignified nature if it was hidden.

But every few people actually stop to ask if we – as the public – can dictate how someone mourns just because we do not approve of it or are uncomfortable with a first-hand glimpse into such a personal moment.

Grief is not linear, nor is it uniform. It manifests itself in a number of ways, with many of them taking an unhealthy and sometimes ugly form.

Grief cannot be contained and each person deals with it in their own way.

With that said, it’s about time people learn to shut the hell up whenever they feel inclined to share anything other than words of support for those left in mourning.

Kaunda Selisho.

Kaunda is analogue girl navigating a digital world using the perspective provided by news. She has always had a desire to amass a wealth of knowledge on a range of varied topics and this is reflected in the content she produces. As a digitally adept social media user, you can always trust Kaunda to bring you up to speed on what’s going on in the world at any given moment.

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