A sexologist’s tips on intimacy

And then there’s the question we’ve all heard from someone before, “but are they The 1?” Some people know immediately and other people take some time to decide; there is no formula and no right or wrong way. Regardless of what you believe – that there is one person out there for us or that we can meet someone who will become our 1. Durex sexologist Catriona Boffard suggests that you ask yourself these questions.

• Do you love them?
• Can you be yourself around them?
• Do they love you for who you are?
• Do they treat you with respect?
• Are they as thoughtful and considerate of your needs and desires as you are of theirs?
• Are they there for you when you’re the most vulnerable?
• Do they inspire you and support you?

If you answered ‘yes’ to most or all of these questions, I’d say that you have got something good going. Your partner, your 1, should uplift you, support you and care about you. They should be available when you need them, and love you even on your ‘off’ days. That kind of person, is definitely worth trying for.

1. Being intimate with The 1

Knowing how you feel about your partner, and knowing that they are The 1 for you, means that you’re more likely to open up to them emotionally, physically and sexually. To be truly emotionally intimate with someone means to be vulnerable, to show them how you feel and let them be there for you and support you.

To open up physically to someone means to let your guard down, be affectionate and want to have them close and be close to them. Sexual intimacy really grows and develops when a couple share their desires and fantasies with one another, try new things with each other, and let go of any insecurities they might have when they are with each other.

It takes time to truly be sexually intimate with your partner, but knowing that they are The 1 for you makes being sexually intimate and sharing your desires that much easier and so much more fulfilling and fun.