Five financial conversations to have with your partner before your wedding

Are you marrying an asset or a liability? This is quite a strange question to ask, but it is important to have some financial conversations with your fiancé before saying “I do” to avoid having to leave the marriage later due to fights about money.

With spring in the air, many couples are making wedding plans but amid the excitement, it is easy to overlook one crucial aspect: financial planning.

“This is not just about setting a wedding budget, but about ensuring your partner’s financial habits align with the future you both envision. Knowing each other’s financial behaviour early on will reveal if you are marrying an asset or a potential liability, sparing you from any devastating financial surprises down the line,” says Queen Malobane, Metropolitan’s general manager in Gauteng.

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Avoid a wedding that will cause unnecessary financial strain

Wedding costs can quickly escalate, particularly if you plan on having multiple celebrations. While celebrating your love is essential, Malobane warns against taking on unnecessary financial strain that could hinder future plans.

“My advice would be to resist societal pressures and focus on creating a wedding within your means, as this will allow you to start your marriage on solid financial footing.”

Malobane points out that it all comes down to transparency and staying on top of your finances as a team.

“By having these financial conversations now, you are not only planning a wedding but also build a sustainable future together. Regular financial check-ins in the first years of marriage will help you adapt to life’s changes and stay on the same page financially. Remember, transparency and teamwork in finances are key to a healthy, resilient marriage.”

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Malobane says you should have these five key conversations to ensure a financially secure start to your marriage:

1. Income and savings goals

Transparent discussions about each other’s income are fundamental to planning your life together. This goes far beyond the wedding itself and will guide your joint financial life after marriage. For example, can you afford to buy property, start a family, or work towards other major goals? Knowing your combined income helps to plan these next steps together.

“In many African cultures for example, wedding costs may include lobola, a tradition that can add financial pressure. If it cannot be paid all at once, consider setting up a savings plan to manage the cost over time. This shared goal also encourages a foundation of financial transparency and responsibility.”

2. Credit records and debt management

Another crucial topic to cover is debt. By sharing credit reports, you will gain a clear picture of each other’s debt management habits and any outstanding liabilities. Are you managing your debts responsibly and are there substantial amounts of debt that may affect your financial goals?

“Credit behaviour often reflects broader financial habits, so understanding each other’s financial history helps you plan how to handle money as a couple.”

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3. Choosing a marital contract

Choosing the right marital contract can significantly affect your financial future. In South Africa couples can select one of three main options: community of property, antenuptial contract with accrual and antenuptial contract without accrual. Each has different implications based on your financial goals and situation.

“By default, lobola marriages for example are regarded as in community of property marriages. However, if one or both of you own a business, an antenuptial contract without accrual may be advisable, protecting each partner’s assets from potential business-related risks.

“Remember, any marriage will end by means of death or divorce and having a marital contract in place can protect each party financially in either case. Consulting with a financial adviser is critical to ensure your contract aligns with your life goals.”

4. Estate planning and life insurance

Discussing wills and life insurance may feel uncomfortable at this stage of your life, but it is a necessary part of financial planning for married couples.

“Contrary to some cultural beliefs, taking out life insurance on your partner is a proactive way to secure each other’s futures. Naming each other as beneficiaries ensures that the surviving spouse has immediate access to funds and can maintain their lifestyle without waiting for the estate to be wound up.”

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5. Family dynamics and cultural beliefs

It is a reality that many marriages involve not just two individuals, but their families as well and any financial obligations tied to family dynamics can affect your own household finances. For instance, your partner might currently support relatives or pay a sibling’s school fees, which would presumedly continue after marriage. Such commitments may need to be budgeted for as part of your household’s ongoing expenses.

“Cultural beliefs can also influence financial priorities. Traditional practices, like ceremonies that require specific preparations, may have additional financial implications. An open discussion about these dynamics ensures there are no misunderstandings later on, helping to prevent potential conflicts with in-laws or between you and your partner.”