Food & Drinks 24.5.2017 03:53 pm

Ten ways you can get served a drink quicker, according to barmen

Eindhoven University of Technology/AFP / Bart van Overbeeke<br />A drone brings drinks to customers in the world's first drone cafe in Eindhoven

Eindhoven University of Technology/AFP / Bart van Overbeeke
A drone brings drinks to customers in the world's first drone cafe in Eindhoven

There is science to the art of being served a drink at the bar without breaking a sweat, according to bartenders.

Have you ever waltzed into your favorite bar and struggled to get served a drink despite a bulging wallet and friendly disposition? Well, unbeknownst to you and despite your best intentions, you may have been irritating the barmen and in turn getting punished with slow service.

To celebrate World Whiskey Day, which took place recently, Monkey Shoulder, the world’s only triple-malt Scotch whiskey, released a few tips to help consumers reduce their waiting period at the bar.

Based on research conducted with “experienced bar staff,” a 10-point plan to short-circuit the queue was compiled.

At number ten is a mistake that is easier to commit – talking to someone who has just been served. Apparently this gives the barmen impression you are getting all warm and cosy, and they will overlook you. After all, they do not want come across as being rude and interfering.

Mistake number nine has to do with personal space in a public space. “Stand directly in front of the bar staff and look friendly. If there are two people serving, stand between them,” barmen recommend.

At number eight is advice you might have heard before – be charming.

At number seven, we are told that eye contact is effective. You are advised to use it sparingly though, as it may make you appear as if you are in love with the staff behind the bar.

If you habitually wave money in the air to indicate your thirst, tip number six concerns you. Barmen were divided on whether this is sophisticated behavior or crude, but overwhelmingly agree that having money to pay for your drink of choice is a winning formula.

Julian Short from Sin+Tax in Johannesburg breaks it down. “Bar staff are very busy, so it is always best to know what you what and to have your payment ready. Making eye contact and leaving a good tip goes a long way, too.”

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And if you feel like being assertive tip number five says carry on and be your bad self. “Stand up for your rights: it’s OK to say that the person next to you pushed in, bar staff like to be fair,” the survey outcomes reveal.

And if tip number four is anything to go by, you may not be getting the service you desire simply because the barmen can not see you. “Stand out from the crowd: if you are tall or wear a distinctive hat you will have an advantage,” it says.

Tip number three underscores the good old-fashioned value of cleaning. It recommends “bringing back your empty glasses”, as this will definitely win you favour with man or woman serving you your poison of choice.

Talking on your phone or staring for too long at the selection, according to tip number two, does not make you appear eager to be served either.

“Talking to your friend in the line may make you look like you are busy and do not need a drink. Likewise, looking at the drinks selection makes you appear unready,” the tip with pearls of wisdom states.

At the top of potentially offensive behaviour towards staff members standing in between you and your drink is whistling. You are told to avoid doing this at all costs, regardless of the dry mercury situation.

Nicholas Crouse from Lucky Shaker in Umhlanga says respect, decisiveness, flexibility and an adventurous approach may help. Okay, maybe he means something else, so read what he said below.

“What is really important to bar staff is that we are afforded some respect. If you shout, whistle or snap your fingers, we will pass you by. Also, have an idea of what you are looking for. We are happy to assist you if you are wanting to discover something new, but please don’t wait for us to serve you before you decide what you feel like.

“If someone comes to the bar and says, surprise me, what helps is if they say, surprise me with something fruity,” in which case we will know in what direction we should go. “All this makes serving you that my easier and more enjoyable,” he generously preached to the thirsty masses.

In case you think this is beyond you, Shaun Stemmett of Monkey Shoulder agrees that it is not a train smash, and you can still get your favorite tipple. “You can just do what you like and not worry about the odd extra minute,” he added.

Ska bhora moreki! Alcohol hater Helen Zille told

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