Every child has emotional ups and downs, and outbursts from time to time. But kids who are overly coddled by their parents tend to throw fits far more frequently – and with less provocation – than the average child. But how can you tell if your child’s bratty behavior is typical of their age or a symptom of being spoiled? And how can you keep them from getting any worse?
All children test boundaries
Many parents will say that they don’t spoil their children, but overindulgence can make a child spoilt, especially if he has already passed the toddler years. The good news is that it’s not entirely your fault. Educational psychologist Professor Bodenstein explains: “Children are by their nature selfish. They are testing boundaries and can be nasty and have very bad manners.”
How to recognise a “spoilt” child
Here are a few “red flags” that could indicate that your child is spoilt:
- She often throws tantrums, both in public and at home, and doesn’t care who watches.
- She’s never satisfied with what she has. Spoiled kids may have tons of toys and clothes, but they always want more, more, more. When she sees a sibling or friend with a toy or sweet, she’ll want that instead.
- She’s not very helpful and doesn’t help to clean up her toys or put away her school bag or shoes.
- She won’t share. Sharing is difficult for little ones, but once your toddler reaches the age of four, she should be able and willing to share her toys and snacks.
- You have to beg or bribe her to do small tasks for you.
- She ignores you when you speak to her.
- She won’t play alone and always needs a friend or parent to play with her. By the age of 4, children should be able, and willing, to play on their own for a stretch of time.
How parents can find a balance
Many parents struggle to find the balance between overindulging and spoiling their children. “Of course, you must give treats sometimes. But as soon as your child can understand, explain why you’re going to the shop and let him or her know that this time you’re not shopping for them. And don’t give in,” says Bodenstein. He adds it’s never too early to explain life’s realities – that parents work hard to afford things. If she insists on a course of action, remind her there’s a sweetie jar at home, and when she’s earned a reward she can have a treat. Children learn by repetition, so keep showing them the right way.
