Keeping it secret is now near impossible

LIFE has a funny way of playing boomerang as most mischievous politicians, sportsman and high rollers soon learn, when their secret vices make a spectacular comeback on the front page of every Sunday newspaper.

The truth always comes out in the end, unfortunately for the rich and famous with near catastrophic consequences of the Monica Lewinsky kind.

Just ask big fish like Tiger Woods, Hugh Grant, Bjorn Borg, disgraced MD of the International Monetary fund, Dominique Strauss- Kahn, who have all been the butt of many jokes.

Off course entirely by their own doings.

For once, every small fry cheater sighs in relief that he is not a public persona deserving of a whipping on the market plain, knowing his wife will be less understanding than the Stepford wife standing by her fallen hero, albeit with a huge divorce settlement figure up her sleeve.

Before whats-up, online news and social media, every Joe Soap or his best buddy caught with pants down or hand in the proverbial cookie jar, could get off with a big barney with the wife, a near divorce, an eventual patch-up and dead cows being dug out forever and ever after.

But the sordid incident usually remained a family scandal, talked about behind the hands, passed down in whispering tones at social gatherings but politely ignored in open conversation.

A well-known journo colleague recalls an incident some years ago, when the ZO got wind of ‘exclusive entertainment’ on a premises at Mposa.

Unfortunately for the party people and entertainment committee, the police were also tipped off, perhaps by a wife who found out about the snake (dancer) in the grass.

When the raiders swooped down, conveniently only after the show, men could be seen running like hares in all directions, diving into the long grass and leopard crawling their way out of public humiliation and divorce.

According to legend, many others were also in the dog box after the guest list of infamous ‘Box and Dine’ evenings in Empangeni leaked.

Unfortunately for them, the badges took down all the abandoned vehicle registration numbers.

And a notorious club in the Richards Bay CBD, specialised in ‘cabaret shows’ Richards Bay style – with wrestling and oil involved.

But, true to Richards Bay, the fun only lasted until the first wife showed up with a real whip and chain and the beating really started.

That was all before social media.

Now, anybody can go viral after some wrongdoing, no pun intended.

While cheaters are still supporting ‘spa’s’ and ‘house parties’ as enthusiastically as ever, neighbours are not so stupid and in fact know all about the not-so-secret shenanigans, who is in attendance and whose vehicle is parked outside.

Also, local fishermen who say they are fed-up with the nightly disturbances at every good fishing spot, are also ready to jump out with a cell phone or a little book. Perhaps it is time for cheaters and brothel client to consider if they would like to make their public debut on social media and become an overnight internet sensation with matching sound track the day the skeleton falls out of the closet.